


throw me on the first line

by lotts (LottieAnna)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 2-2.5 Hours, background mitch/auston, cute kid shenanigans, ft. apperances by various family members, just your typical run-of-the-mill Fake Dating Fic™
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-04 07:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12765624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LottieAnna/pseuds/lotts
Summary: “What do you want, Will?” Zach asks.Willy frowns at him. “You don’t know that I want something from you.”Zach raises an eyebrow.“Okay, fine, I need a favor,” Willy says. “I’m just trying to figure out the least humiliating way to phrase it.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU FOUND THIS THROUGH GOOGLING, KNOW ANYONE MENTIONED IN THIS STORY PERSONALLY, OR ARE MENTIONED YOURSELF: please, please click away. This is a work of fiction and nothing written in this story is true. Any accurate information used in this story is publicly available information about public figures, the rest is made up, 100%.
> 
> thanks to ciara and kestrel and rachel and ali and tots for their beta work! this pairing has somehow consumed my soul and i haven't shut up about them for weeks, and i put a few links in the endnotes to explain why. thank you @ my best friend's family for inviting me to their christmas party every year, which provided a model for the events that take place in this fic. and yes the title is from "santa buddy" by michael bublé and i will not apologize for it (i'm so sorry)

Zach’s surprised for about half a second when he opens the door to find a very stressed-out William Nylander on the other side, mostly because he’s not expecting any visitors at all, but of all the people to stop by unannounced, Willy is the most obvious choice, because he knows where Zach lives and is the exact kind of dramatic person who would just show up at someone’s house without bothering to text first.

“Hi,” Willy says. “Can I come in?” 

“Alright,” Zach says, stepping aside, and Willy walks past him and into Zach’s living room, pacing as Zach leans against the wall and crosses his arms, expectant. 

“So,” Willy says, running a hand through his hair. It’s a nervous gesture. Not the fact that Willy’s messing with his hair, because Willy messes with his hair all the time, sometimes because he’s frustrated, sometimes because he’s flirting, and sometimes because he’s trying to buy a few seconds to think of an appropriately witty response, but Zach’s been his teammate for long enough that he can usually interpret it. Judging by the way Willy’s kind of squeezing it right now, Zach would guess that he’s trying to muster up the courage to say something. 

“What do you want, Will?” Zach asks. 

Willy frowns at him. “You don’t know that I want something from you.” 

Zach raises an eyebrow. 

“Okay, fine, I need a favor,” Willy says. “I’m just trying to figure out the least humiliating way to phrase it.” 

“I mean, I’ve seen you do some pretty embarrassing stuff,” Zach says. 

“This is pretty bad,” Willy says. 

“You still have Instagram pictures from 2011,” Zach says. “There’s no way it’s worse than that.” 

“Okay, but those are from when I was a kid,” Willy says. “This is me, as a grown man, getting into a very stupid and very avoidable situation.” 

“At least you’re aware of it. This could be an opportunity for personal growth,” Zach says. “Dude, I went to college, I’ve seen people do all sorts of dumb shit.” 

“Not this dumb,” Willy says. 

“How bad is it?” Zach asks. 

Willy squeezes his eyes shut. “Okay, so, before I tell you, do you have any plans for Christmas Eve?”

Zach blinks. “Uh, no,” he says. 

“Well, my family is having a thing,” Willy says. “A big one, with cousins and stuff, flying in from Sweden, and my parents want you to come.” 

Zach blinks. He’s met Willy’s family a few times, and his parents had seemed to like Zach, but not, like,  _ that _ much. 

“They know that I don’t… celebrate Christmas, right?” Zach asks. “Like, that’s not a holiday that Jewish people observe.” 

“It’s not a religious thing,” Willy says. “Just, like, a family get-together, with presents and stuff.” 

“Then why do they–” Zach says says slowly, but Willy cuts him off.

“So here’s the thing,” he says. “My mom is… great, but also, um. She worries. And so last season, she kept trying to set me up with people she knew in Toronto, to keep me out of trouble, or something, and it was… y’know. Irritating.” 

“Sure,” Zach says. 

“So I, uh. Kind of – I didn’t tell her I was dating someone, in so many words, but I strongly implied it?” Willy says. 

“Right,” Zach says. “Makes sense.” 

“Yeah, that part does,” Willy says. “So, that’s fine, but then I forgot about that, and then a few weeks later, she was asking me about what I did in my free time, or whatever, and – y’know how you just don’t want to tell your parents some things?” 

Zach thinks back to college, phone calls with his parents where he assured them that the entire hockey team spent all of Saturday in the library, which, looking back, had been pretty transparently fake, but. “For sure.” 

“Well, I didn’t want to tell her about some things, so I told her I really didn’t have time to hang out with people besides the guys on the team, and then it got all… weird, and vague, and I think she thought I was, like, speaking in code? But somehow, she sort of came to the conclusion that I was, uh.” Willy takes a deep breath. “Dating someone on the team, maybe.” 

Zach blinks. “She just… what?” 

“I don’t know, it made sense in her mom-brain,” Willy says. “And I just – I didn’t want her to yell at me, so I sort of told her that I was.” 

“You–” Zach starts, but he stops, and his stomach does something complicated as he realizes what Willy’s saying. “Wait.” 

“Okay, so, I thought that she would assume it was Kappy,” Willy says. “But then she talked to Alex, and Alex called me, and he asked if I was bullshitting, and I didn’t want him to tell my mom that I was, so I told him I wasn’t, and it was just on the down-low–” 

“You confirmed it?” Zach says. “What the fuck?” 

“I was caught off-guard, alright?” Willy says. “And it was just Alex.”

“But you told him that you’re – that we’re dating,” Zach says, and it just – the whole thing is so fucking  _ weird,  _ because Zach can’t picture a world in which that makes sense. “Why me?” he asks, and he doesn’t really know why he asks it, besides the fact that he has a billion questions right now, and wants to get an answer for at least one.

“Alex told me something about Instagram? And apparently I, uh, talk about you a lot,” Willy says, blushing, and Zach isn’t even going to begin to unpack that, so he assumes it’s part of the whole ‘staying out of trouble’ thing, which doesn’t explain the blushing, but does explain the talking. 

“But–” Zach starts, but he cuts himself off. “Parents I get, but why would you lie to your brother?” 

“I don’t know, I wanted to be… a good influence, I guess,” Willy says. “I don’t want him to think that  _ he  _ should be lying to our parents.” 

“He’s only two years younger than you.” 

“He’s still my younger brother,” Willy says. “And like – I don’t know, he’s a good kid, y’know? He… I mean, I’m not trying to sound, like, cocky, or whatever, but he sort of looks up to me.” 

It is, quite possibly, the least cocky thing Zach’s ever heard, and he’s hit with a wave of fondness, because it’s kind of adorable. “Fair enough,” he says, trying to sound mostly neutral. 

“Listen, I can just tell them we broke up, or whatever, but – I dunno.” Willy shrugs, sitting down on the couch. “My mom said I should bring the ‘mystery boy’ I’ve been seeing, and she seemed so excited, and it would just make her worry even more if we mysteriously split up right before Christmas.”

Zach sits down next to Willy. “Do they think – how long have we been together?” 

“What?” Willy asks, snapping his head to look at Zach. 

“Like, if they want me to come to a family event,” Zach says. “They probably think you’re in, like, a serious relationship.” 

“Oh,” Willy says, and then he shrugs and looks back at the ground between his feet. “I guess.” 

“So, how long?” Zach asks. 

“Uh,” Willy says. “About a year, I guess.” 

Zach looks at Willy for a second; he’s rubbing his hands together, which is definitely a nervous gesture, and Zach refuses to get distracted by the way Willy’s fingers are moving. “A year,” he says flatly. 

“More or less,” Willy says. 

“So, in the eyes of your parents, I’ve been dating you for a year, and they still don’t know who I am,” Zach says. 

“Yeah?” Willy says. “Is that… bad?” 

“It doesn’t make me look great,” Zach says. 

“I don’t know, I don’t… date people,” Willy says. 

“I know,” Zach says, kind of snapping, because he’s spent almost three years watching Willy definitively Not Date many, many people. 

“So, we’ll just say that I was the one making you keep it a secret,” Willy says. “Like, I was suppressing your gentlemanly instincts, or whatever.” 

Zach looks at Willy’s face, which is completely serious, but his eyes are kind of crinkled at the corners, so Zach rolls his eyes. “You’re ridiculous.” 

Willy smiles for real then, this weird combination of smugness and relief that Zach’s pretty sure is only possible on his face. “Isn’t that part of my charm, though?” 

“No,” Zach says, trying halfheartedly to hold back a grin. 

“Well, then we’ll have to figure out some other way to convince my family that I won you over,” Willy says. 

Zach has to take a second to process that sentence, because – like, it’s not that Zach’s thought about it outside of this conversation, but in a world where William Nylander is his boyfriend, he’s pretty sure he’d be the one doing the winning-over, not the one being won. He doesn’t say that, though, because Willy’s ego is already inflated enough by the fact that Willy looks the way he does, and Zach’s not gonna contribute to that.

“Do you promise you’re not bullshitting me?” Zach says. “Like, this isn’t some weird prank? It’s for real?” 

“I swear, I really, really need you to be my fake boyfriend,” Willy says. 

“And it’s just for one night?” 

“Yeah, and it’s, like, fun,” Willy says. “My family’s so great, I promise.” 

And that’s – Zach is a sucker, maybe, but there’s something about the way Willy’s face lights up when he mentions his family that he just can’t say no to, this boundlessly excited expression that’s not even trying to be pretty, but kind of is, anyway. Or – maybe pretty’s not the best word, but it does more to sway Zach than the faux-pouting or puppy dog eyes that he knows Willy can pull off perfectly.

“You are going to owe me big time,” Zach says, but he’s smiling as he says it, and then Willy’s, like, tackling him into the couch to hug him, which is kind of uncomfortable, except they’re both laughing. 

“You are my favorite person in the world,” Willy says. “In the  _ universe _ . Literally, I will do anything you ask, thank you so much–” 

“Literally anything,” Zach repeats. “I’m gonna hold you to that.” 

“Well, no crimes, or, like, sexual favors,” Willy says, letting go of Zach. “And I’d prefer not to drive, or clean, or cook–”

“Don’t worry, I would not ask you to cook,” Zach says. 

“I’m not a bad cook,” Willy protests. “I’d just prefer not to do it.” 

“You are definitely a bad cook,” Zach says. 

“I make good brownies,” Willy says. 

“Brownies aren’t the same as cooking,” Zach says. “Everyone has their one thing.” 

“What does that even mean?” Willy says. 

“Like, everyone can make some kind of food passably,” Zach says. “That doesn’t make you a good cook.” 

Willy gives Zach a very offended face. “Excuse you, my brownies are more than passable.” 

“Sure,” Zach says, not actually believing him for a second. 

“They are,” Willy insists. “I’ll prove it to you.” 

“I don’t want brownies to be my one favor,” Zach says. “That’s a waste of a perfectly good favor.” 

“They’re really good brownies,” Willy says, wagging his eyebrows in a way that’s probably supposed to be more funny than sexy, but ends up being equal parts both, anyway, because that’s just how Willy’s face is. 

“Nope,” Zach says. 

“Fine,” Willy says. “You’ll taste them on Christmas Eve, anyway.” 

“I’m sure they’ll be adequate,” Zach says, mostly to piss Willy off, and he’s probably a little too pleased with himself when Willy gets all indignant at that. 

“Fuck you,” Willy says, plainly. “I’m gonna tell my entire family I won you over with my incredible brownies.” 

“Well, looks like we solved that problem, then,” Zach says, and it’s meant to be sarcastic, but Willy looks pleased with that anyway. 

* * *

Zach is walking out of practice, and doesn’t really think anything of it when he walks past Willy talking in Swedish on FaceTime until Willy says, “Wait, Zachary, c’mere.”

“Why am I Zachary now?” Zach asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Because my little sisters want to meet you,” Willy says, and then, without warning, unplugs his headphones and pulls Zach into the frame. 

There are three blonde girls on the screen, all of whom look vaguely familiar, probably from Instagram. 

“Little sisters, Zach, Zach, little sisters,” Willy says. 

“Hi,” Zach says, holding up a hand. “Nice to meet you guys.” 

They introduce themselves, and then Willy angles the phone away. 

“Alright, Zach has important things to do,” Willy says. 

“Aw, we wanted to ask him questions,” a voice says. 

“I can, like, hang around,” Zach says, trying to keep his voice low so only Willy can hear. 

Willy shakes his head, and quietly says, “You’re good. Thanks, though.” 

“We can hear you,” a different, higher voice says from the phone.

“He just doesn’t want us to embarrass him in front of his boyfriend,” another says. 

“If I wanted to avoid that, I would’ve told him to skip Christmas,” Willy says, raising his eyebrows in the direction of his phone. 

“I’m sure your stories will be much more embarrassing when you tell me them in person,” Zach says. “I can’t wait to meet you all!”

“He seems nice,” one of Willy’s sisters says. 

“He can still hear you,” Willy says, smiling as he rolls his eyes, and Zach doesn’t even realize he’s staring until Willy’s eyes lock with his. They’re both smiling, and it’s a nice moment, Willy all fond and exasperated and brotherly. It’s a side of him that Zach doesn’t really get to see that often, and Zach decides it’s a nice side of him.

“You seem nice,” she says, loudly, and it’s clearly meant for Zach. 

“You seem nice too,” Zach calls back, and then he and Willy share a grin.

“Okay, girls, say goodbye to Zach,” Willy says. 

“Bye,” all three voices chorus. 

“Bye,” Zach says, and then he looks up at Willy. “Later, man.” 

“Yeah, see you around, dude,” Willy says. 

Zach turns around and starts to walk away, and it’s all normal until he hears one of Willy’s sisters say, “Willy, you were right, he’s cu–” 

Presumably, that’s when Willy plugs his headphones back in, but Zach doesn’t turn around to check, because he’s pretty sure Willy’s sister just implied that Willy had called Zach cute, and Zach – he knows that there are a million ways that could’ve happened that mean absolutely nothing, but the image of Willy, grinning a little, his cheeks kind of pink as he says, “Zach’s cute,” is making Zach’s heart race, a little. 

It doesn’t mean anything, really, except that Zach should probably get out of there soon. Zach’s played with Willy for a solid two and a half years now, so he’s past the point of getting flustered just because Willy’s handsome, but the fact still remains that Willy is incredibly,  _ painfully  _ handsome, and that, combined with the whole older brother thing, and all the smiling, and the fact that Zach can’t stop thinking about when and how and why Willy might have called him cute – that’s a lot for Zach to handle. 

Thankfully, Zach manages to avoid tripping over his own two feet, Willy goes back to speaking Swedish, and eventually, Zach’s heart rate returns to normal.

* * *

Zach’s a little concerned by how unconcerned Willy seems to be about the whole charade, and he doesn’t know why he’s getting worked up over this, because if they fuck it up, Willy’s the one who’ll have to answer to his family, but Zach doesn’t half-ass anything, as a rule, and fake-dating Willy falls under the category of “anything.”

“We need a story,” Zach says bluntly, when he’s over at Willy’s place. Hypothetically, they’re supposed to be playing CoD, but they’re waiting on Mitch and Auston, who are taking for-fucking- _ ever  _ to log on. Currently, Willy’s lying with his feet in Zach’s lap eating popcorn, and he keeps pretending like he’s about to throw kernels in Zach’s mouth. 

“What do you mean?” Willy says. “We started dating a year ago, what more do we need?” 

“Like, how?” Zach asked. “Who asked out who? Where was our first date? Are there pictures? Did we start off dating, or was it more of a–” 

“They’re not gonna ask,” Willy says, waving Zach off. 

Zach shoves at Willy’s ankle, and Willy makes a protesting noise. 

“You don’t know that,” Zach says. “People ask those kinds of things when you’re in a relationship.” 

“Well, we can wing it,” Willy says. 

“Oh my god, you’re impossible,” Zach says. 

Willy actually does throw a kernel at Zach, who swats it away, and it’s honestly pretty sick, because reflexes, but then Willy looks at the kernel at the floor, and then at Zach, and then raises an eyebrow. Zach stares back at Willy for a second, because he’s not gonna go down without a fight, but after a few seconds, Zach relents and picks the popcorn up off the ground, figuring he might as well be the bigger person, because Willy definitely won’t. 

Willy opens his mouth, and Zach rolls his eyes. 

“Do it,” Willy says, sticking out his tongue in his signature ridiculous way before opening his mouth wide again. 

Zach throws the kernel at Willy’s mouth, and Willy catches it, smiling as he chews. 

“You’re disgusting,” Zach says. 

“Five second rule,” Willy says.

“That was more than five seconds.”

“How do you know? Were you counting?”

“Yes,” Zach says. “Had a timer going as soon as the popcorn landed.” 

“Nerd,” Willy says, more fond than teasing, and he shoves his heel into Zach’s thigh.

“Accomplished scholar,” Zach corrects, and his phone buzzes on the coffee table. 

_ sry we’ll be on in like 1hr?  _ reads a text from Auston, and Zach groans, then tilts the screen so Willy can read it. 

“What’s taking them so long?” Willy asks. 

“Who even knows,” Zach says, locking his phone. “They’re ridiculous.” 

“They are,” Willy says slowly, and then he furrows his brow. “Do you ever wonder about them?”

“What do you mean?” Zach asks, but he doesn’t really need to, because the Mitch-and-Auston situation has always been the elephant in the locker room. Mostly Zach talked about it last year with Brownie, and he knows Brownie’s talked about it with Willy, but he and Willy haven’t ever talked about it directly.

“Just – I dunno,” Willy says. “They’ve been spending a lot of time together recently.” 

“More than last season, yeah,” Zach says. 

“Has Mitchy brought it up to you?” Willy asks. 

“Not in a while,” Zach says.

“Matty mentions it sometimes,” Willy says. “I mean, it’s Matty, so he’s all… vague and mysterious, but, like. It’s kinda – y’know.” 

“What kind of stuff?” Zach asks. 

“Like, he’s mostly just scared,” Willy says. “I mean, I’m pretty sure nothing’s, like, happened.” 

“Honestly, I don’t know how it ever will,” Zach says. “It’s not like either of them’s gonna make a move.” 

“Ever?” Willy says. 

Zach shrugs. “They’re not great at dealing with their feelings.” 

“I mean, no one is,” Willy says. “But – Matts is, like, pretty far gone.” 

“Yeah, well,” Zach says. “That’s when it’s hardest, y’know?”

Willy doesn’t say anything to that, and at first, Zach thinks he’s just formulating a response, but then he keeps not saying anything, just stares into the distance with his eyebrows pinched at the center, and Zach starts to get uncomfortable. 

“Uh, earth to Will?” Zach says, waving a hand in Willy’s direction.

Willy doesn’t turn his head, just frowns a little deeper and says, “I dunno, don’t you think… like, love will find a way, or whatever?” 

“Uh,” Zach says, caught off-guard, because those were the last words he ever expected to hear from William Nylander’s mouth. Willy’s face is serious, and he seems almost sad, and Zach has no fucking clue what to do with that. 

“I mean,” Willy says, flushing a bit, and the moment is a little less heavy. “Sorry, that was lame.” 

It probably was lame, but Zach’s brain isn’t working well enough to form a proper chirp for that – or, any words at all, really – which is probably lamer. 

“They’re not in love,” Zach manages to say. “They’re just – into each other. A lot.” 

“And they’re best friends,” Willy says. 

“That doesn’t mean they’re, like, soulmates,” Zach says. 

“No, but they do love each other,” Willy says.

“That’s not the same, though,” Zach says.

“How do you know?” Willy asks. 

“I–” Zach starts, but he pauses, because – like, he’s had relationships before. Ones that lasted multiple months, a few that went for over a year, well into the ‘I love you’ phase of things, and he really did love them, but he doesn’t quite know what it’s like to fall for someone after he’s already started loving them, not the way Auston and Mitch love each other, or the way he loves any of his closest friends, really. 

“I guess I don’t,” Zach says. “Just seems like it would be, though.” 

“Fair enough,” Willy says. 

“Do you–” Zach says. “Or – nevermind, that’s a dumb question.” 

“What?” Willy asks. 

“I mean, you don’t… you’ve never, like, dated someone long-term, so,” Zach says. “So I guess you wouldn’t know any better than I would.” 

“Oh,” Willy says. “I mean, no, but I’ve fallen for friends before.” 

Zach looks at Willy, surprised. “You have?” 

“You haven’t?” Willy says. 

Zach shakes his head. “Not really.” 

“Then who do you, like, date?” Willy asks. 

“I don’t know, people,” Zach says. “Classmates, friends of friends, Tinder matches, whatever.” 

“I’ve never gotten that,” Willy says. “If I like someone, it’s gonna be because I  _ like  _ them, y’know?” 

“But then you have to deal with – like, all the crap that Matty and Marns deal with,” Zach says. 

“I mean, yeah,” Willy says. “But – I dunno. Seems worth it.” 

“What if they’re not interested in you?” Zach asks. 

“Well,” Willy says, “that’s just heartbreak, then.” 

“Guess so,” Zach says. “Is that part of the reason you didn’t want your mom to set you up?” 

“More or less,” Willy says. He looks embarrassed, in a way he almost never does, and Zach has this weird urge to reach out and touch him, or, like, hold him. 

WIthout really thinking about it, Zach asks, “Was there someone you liked?” 

Willy turns a bright shade of red, and kind of sputters. “I don’t want to talk about this,” he says, and Zach realizes he’s hit a nerve. 

“Yeah, sorry, wow, that was–”

“It’s okay,” Willy says, standing up quickly. “I’m just gonna – make more popcorn.” 

The bag on the couch is nowhere near empty, but Zach doesn’t point that out, just nods awkwardly as Willy nearly trips over the coffee table in his rush to leave the living room. 

Zach tries and fails to scroll idly on his phone and put the whole conversation out of his mind, because he can’t stop thinking about what Willy had said. He can’t picture Willy heartbroken, can’t imagine someone breaking Willy’s heart, especially someone who knows Willy, and knows that when Willy likes someone, it’s a big deal. He wants to know who it was that Willy had apparently spent an entire season secretly crushing on without anyone knowing, but he starts going through the guys on the team in his head, and it makes him feel kind of sick, so he stops speculating.

Instead, he tries to picture what a pining Willy would even look like. Willy’s a weird dude, and he can flirt with literally anything, but the Willy who picks up when they go out is so different from the Willy that Zach knows. Zach’s pretty sure the Willy he gets is a more genuine version, but for all his openness and goofiness, Willy’s kind of a closed-off guy. Zach doesn’t even take it personally; Willy’s lived a lot of different places, met a lot of different people, and deals with a lot of expectations. It’s hard to be vulnerable, and Zach’s pretty good at spotting defense mechanisms, and Willy’s are up pretty much constantly, except for rare moments, like just now. 

“I kinda burned this bag,” Willy says, interrupting Zach’s train of thought. He’s inspecting the popcorn very carefully, and it’s so convincing that Zach would almost believe that Willy’s not just trying to avoid eye contact.

“S’cool,” Zach says. “I like it burnt.” 

“Weird,” Willy says, sitting down next to Zach and placing the bag on the coffee table, before taking the un-burnt bag lying on the couch next to him and putting it in his lap. “Any word from Matts?” 

“Nah,” Zach says. “Hasn’t been an hour yet.” 

“Ah,” Willy says, nodding.

After a beat, Zach says, in his best attempt at a casual voice, “I hope they work their shit out.” 

“Who?” Willy asks. 

“Mitch and Auston,” Zach says. “They’re good together.” 

“Yeah, they are,” Willy says, his voice kind of weird, and when Zach turns to look at him, he finds that Willy’s eyes are already fixed on him, and he looks almost thoughtful. Zach flushes a little at the attention, but he doesn’t look away, and they stay like that for a moment, just kind of staring at each other, and it’s not as uncomfortable as Zach thinks it maybe should be.

Willy seems to come to some sort of decision, because then he smiles his usual small, easy smile, and lies back down on the couch, putting his feet back in Zach’s lap, just like before.

“Okay, so, 5 points if it goes in the bag, 10 if it goes in my mouth,” Willy says, holding the bag of popcorn up by his chin and opening his mouth wide again. 

Zach blinks. “Wait, do I get the points or do you?” 

“We both get them,” Willy says. 

“Then what are we playing for?” Zach asks. 

“Points,” Willy says. 

“But there’s no winner,” Zach says. 

“Maybe we’re both winners,” Willy says. “Maybe this is a metaphor for the power of teamwork.” 

“You’re eating the same food you already have in your hands, but slower, and burnt, and you’ll probably have to vacuum after,” Zach says. 

“But if I cut corners, I might not learn anything, so what’s the point?” Willy asks. 

“Eating popcorn like a normal person isn’t ‘cutting corners’,” Zach says, grinning a bit. 

“Not with that attitude,” Willy says. 

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“You don’t make any sense.” 

“I literally cannot argue that,” Zach says, and then he throws a kernel right at Willy’s stomach. Willy smirks, picks it up, and throws it back, and Zach catches it and pops it in his mouth. 

“You’re clearly not getting the moral of the story,” Willy says.

“I’m messing with structure and subverting expectations. It’s a narrative choice,” Zach says. 

“I don’t know what that means, but you’re a fucking nerd,” Willy says.

Zach throws a piece of popcorn at him, which bounces off his nose and goes into the bag. 

“Five points,” Zach says. 

“Nice,” Willy says, holding up his hand for a high five, which Zach happily gives him. 

* * *

Zach drives them to Willy’s dad’s place out in Mississauga the night of the 24th, because Willy is a truly awful driver. Zach’s fine with it, honestly, except for the fact that Willy keeps trying to take selfies from the passenger seat.

“What are you – is this a video?” Zach says, temporarily taking his eyes off the road as they stop at a red light. 

“Maybe,” Willy says, taking his thumb off the record button and watching the video as he talks. Evidently, it’s unsatisfactory, so he deletes it. “C’mon, it’s fun.” 

“How is that fun?” 

“What does that mean? It just, like, is,” Willy says. 

“You just like looking at yourself,” Zach says, as the light changes. 

“I like looking at both of us,” Willy says, and Zach rolls his eyes, half at Willy, because it’s a dumb comment, and half at himself, because his stomach starts, like, fluttering at it anyway. 

“You’re a narcissist,” Zach says. 

“What? We look nice,” Willy says. “All dressed up, going to meet the folks.” 

“I guess,” Zach says. 

“What, you put on your… ‘dressed to impress’ outfit,” Willy says. “Or, like, that’s the sweater you wear when you actually give a shit about what you look like.”

“Hey,” Zach says, offended, mostly because Willy is 100% correct. Zach’s not super into clothing, or whatever, and he doesn’t see why he would need to own more than one mildly trendy sweater anyway. 

“I’m not wrong,” Willy says, and it’s not even an argument, he just states it as a fact, all smug, which, rude.

“Well, sorry I’m not all fashionable and European like you are,” Zach says.

“European?” Willy asks, and he sounds kind of gleeful.

“European,” Zach confirms. 

Willy laughs, like that’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard, and Zach grins a little too, even though he’s not sure why. He thinks it’s because he won whatever that argument was, but then he glances over at the way Willy’s laughing in the passenger seat, like this is some inside joke between the two of them, and it isn’t, because Willy’s just being fucking weird like always, but still. Zach likes making him laugh, and he managed to dodge a pretty sick burn from Willy, so, all-in-all, the night is off to an alright start. 

By the time Zach and Willy arrive, there are already a shitton of cars parked in front of the house, so Zach has to park all the way up the street, mentally apologizing to Willy’s dad’s neighbors for almost blocking their driveway. 

“What’s that for?” Willy asks, nodding at the white shopping bag Zach grabs from the backseat as Willy grabs the plate of brownies and his own shopping bags. 

“Gifts?” Zach says. 

“You didn’t need to bring gifts,” Willy says, furrowing his brow. 

“I mean, if I’m your boyfriend, it’d be weird if I didn’t get you a gift,” Zach says, suddenly uncomfortable. “Right?”

“I guess, yeah,” Willy says. 

“I mean – if you didn’t get me one, that’s–”

“No, I did, just – didn’t expect you to get me something, is all,” Willy says. “Uh, thanks.”

“Don’t thank me yet, you don’t even know what it is,” Zach says. 

“That’s true,” Willy says. “It could be awful.”

“It’s not,” Zach says. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s up to me to decide,” Willy says. “Can I guess?” 

“You can try,” Zach says. “No twenty questions bullshit though, just gotta guess it on the first try.”

“Fair,” Willy says, and they pass the rest of the walk to the house that way, until Willy almost drops the uncovered plate of brownies, and Zach switches to chirping him about his lack of tupperware, which is pretty lame as far as chirps go, but works, because Willy seems legitimately stressed about the prospect of having to show up to the party brownie-less. 

Zach, because he’s not an asshole, holds the plate as Willy opens the front door, and when they walk in, Zach takes a second to look around. There are decorations, fairy lights twisted around garlands and wreaths, and red flowers everywhere, and it’s almost like something out of a movie. There are people scattered around, seated on every available piece of furniture that Zach can see, making conversation, eating hors d'oeuvres out of napkins and drinking wine out of disposable cups. For the most part, they don’t pay any attention to Willy and Zach as they walk in, except for one man who waves, then says something in Swedish as he points to the staircase. Willy smiles at him, says something back, and then Zach is being lead up the stairs by Willy. 

“We’re putting coats and shit in the guest bedroom,” Willy explains over his shoulder. “Then we’re going to the kitchen.” 

“Alrighty,” Zach says, mostly following Willy’s lead. It’s kind of strange, because it’s like every other extended family gathering Zach’s been to, except everyone here seems to be blonde and Swedish, and he doesn’t know anyone besides Willy. He follows Willy down the hallway and into the designated coat room, and once they throw their coats on top of the pile and put their bags down, Zach waits for Willy to lead them back to the party, but Willy just stands kind of awkwardly. 

“I – we should make a game plan,” Willy says. “For the whole boyfriends thing.”

Zach blinks. “I said that weeks ago.”

“And I didn’t listen, because I’m not very smart,” Willy says. “So, what do we do?” 

“I thought we were going to the kitchen,” Zach says. 

“No, I know, but – like, how do we act like boyfriends? Am I supposed to hold your hand?” 

“I don’t know, if you want?” Zach says. 

“Well, what do you want?” Willy asks. 

“Like, I don’t know,” Zach says, because holding hands would be a convincing touch, but Zach’s not gonna, like, tell Willy that he wants to hold his hand. “I mean, if you think we should, you can grab my hand?” 

“Okay,” Willy says, nodding. “Okay. What about other boyfriend-y stuff?” 

“Like what?” Zach asks. 

“Like – cheek kissing, hand-holding, lap-sitting, just – stuff like that,” Willy says. 

“I don’t know, if you think that PDA is necessary, just – go for it? I guess?” Zach says, and his face is really hot, all of a sudden. 

“But what if you want me to stop?” Willy asks. 

“Then I’ll ask you to stop,” Zach says. “Just – it’ll be fine. People won’t think you’re pretending to date me, just act natural.” 

“God, this was a terrible idea,” Willy says, and he sounds like he’s on the verge of being very, very stressed. “Like, what the fuck.”

Zach’s first instinct is to be reassuring, but honestly, it is a pretty ‘what the fuck’ situation. “Too late to back out,” he says. 

“Why did you agree to this?” Willy says. “Seriously, you went to college, you’re smart, why didn’t you talk me out of it?” 

“Didn’t have anything better to do,” Zach says, going for sarcastic, because he’s trying to think back to why he agreed to this in the first place, and all he can remember is Willy smiling, so he figures there must be some other reason that’s not coming to mind right now. “Dude, it’s gonna be fine. It’s one night.” 

“One night,” Willy repeats, and then he takes a deep breath. “Right, okay. My parents are going to love you.” 

“Hopefully,” Zach says, giving Willy a smile he hopes will be reassuring. 

“They will,” Willy says, a little more serious than Zach is expecting. “Okay. Um, and then we’ll just chill with my family, eat food, get presents, and leave.” 

“Sounds like a plan,” Zach says, and he doesn’t know why he does it, but he puts a hand on Willy’s arm. Willy’s eyes flicker down to it, but if he thinks it’s weird, he doesn’t say anything, and Zach can feel him relax, so he figures it was the right call. 

“We’ll be good,” Willy says, his voice kind of distant, but he’s still looking at Zach, and there’s a split second where Zach – he doesn’t know what he thinks is gonna happen, but he gets weirdly breathless. It’s over in an instant, though, because then Willy smiles, confident again, and grabs the plate of brownies. “Alright, parents first, then we can deal with my sisters, and then Alex.”  

“Awesome,” Zach says, and Willy grins at him, kind of relieved, then turns around, grabs Zach’s hand, and leads him out into the hallway. 

It honestly takes a second for it to sink in that Willy is holding his hand, because it doesn’t seem weird, except then Willy tangles their fingers together once they’re halfway down the stairs, so it’s not just, Willy holding onto Zach’s hand, but they’re like, actually holding hands, in a way that is so clearly, definitively not-bros that Zach’s mind goes kind of blank, for a second, before he remembers that they’re trying to pass as boyfriends, and boyfriends do things like hold hands in a not-bros way. 

That shouldn’t surprise Zach, because, like, no shit, but still, Willy is holding his hand, and it’s – a lot more than it should be, and maybe not unpleasant, and that’s not something Zach should look too much into, probably.

Whatever. Zach hasn’t dated someone in a while, he’s probably just not used to holding hands. 

Willy must sense that Zach’s, like, strangely tense, because he gives Zach a kind of concerned look and squeezes his hand, which isn’t reassuring at all, but Zach does force himself to give Willy a calm smile, and his panic is cut short before they even get to the bottom of the staircase, because two blonde girls – sisters, Zach realizes belatedly – are running down the hallway and attacking Willy with hugs. 

“Hey,” Willy says, dropping Zach’s hand to wrap an arm around one of them, and Zach takes the brownies so he can do the same with the other. “Merry Christmas.” 

“Merry Christmas,” one of them says, letting go of Willy. 

“Merry Christmas,” repeats the other, who looks slightly younger. 

Willy gives them both hugs individually, and Zach stands behind him on the bottom stair, kind of awkward, until Willy turns around and says, “You guys know Zach.” 

“Hi,” says the younger one, sticking out her hand for Zach to shake, and he accepts. “Thank you for coming.” 

“Happy holidays,” the other adds, shaking Zach’s hand as well, and then she turns to Willy. “We’re in the basement with Alex.” 

“He couldn’t be bothered to come up?” Willy asks, but he looks amused. 

She shrugs. “Are you gonna come down?” 

“In a bit,” he says, and presses a kiss to her head, which is incredibly cute. “We’re gonna go say hi to mom and dad, first.” 

“Okay, then come play Mario Kart!” the younger one says. 

“We will,” Willy says, then turns to look at Zach, smiling a little bit before he takes the plate of brownies. 

The girls run off, presumably to wherever the basement is, and Willy nods his head, like he’s appraising the situation. 

“Okay, that wasn’t the plan, but whatever,” Willy says. 

“We’re fine,” Zach says, and he realizes he’s smiling. “They’re so excited to see you.” 

“Well,” Willy says, and he kind of smiles into the plate of brownies and shrugs. “I dunno, I told you my family was the greatest.” 

Zach can’t really stop himself from being charmed by that, so he decides to lean into it. “Aw, you’re such a softie,” he says, then claps a hand on Willy’s shoulder and steps down onto the ground. 

Willy shrugs off Zach’s hand, which Zach had kind of expected. “You’re a dick,” he says, but he’s smiling, and then he grabs Zach’s hand again, and Zach’s heart is still beating a little too fast from that, but less so than before, which Zach counts as an improvement. 

They make a beeline to the kitchen, weaving between guests and more or less avoiding conversation, and when they get there, Willy’s parents are talking to the first non-blonde person Zach’s seen so far, who is the caterer, but they pause the conversation as soon as they see Willy and Zach. 

“Honey, hi,” Willy’s mom says, pulling Willy in for a hug as he sets the brownies down on the counter. “I’m so glad you made it.” 

“Merry Christmas,” Willy says, squeezing her tightly for a second before he lets go. 

“Hope the drive out was alright,” Willy’s dad says, patting Willy on the back when it’s his turn for a hug. 

“It was fine,” Willy says. “Uh, Zach drove us, actually.” 

“That’s probably for the best,” Willy’s mom laughs, and then she turns to Zach, smiling politely. “Hello, Zach, it’s nice to see you, thank you for coming.” 

“Thank you for having me,” he says, and he leans in to kiss her cheek. 

“It’s our pleasure, of course,” Willy’s dad says, shaking Zach’s hand. “Have you met everyone yet?” 

“Wanted to let you know we were here first,” Willy says. 

“Go say hi, everyone’s excited to see you,” Willy’s mom says. “And get Alex at some point, tell him he can’t spend the whole night playing video games.” 

“You got it,” Willy says, and then kisses each of his parents on the cheek one last time before they turn back to the caterer. 

Willy and Zach end up grabbing food, and Zach is introduced to a few more cousins before he meets Willy’s other two sisters, and Zach gets the sense that he’s being sized up, but Willy has the good sense to bring up the picture book thing, which seems to win them over pretty quickly. Everyone else, though, mostly sticks to polite conversation, asking about the season, or whatever. A few people ask what Zach’s family is doing for Christmas Day, but they seem to accept Zach’s “Oh, we don’t celebrate Christmas” at face value, which is a little weird, but not as bad as it could be. 

Eventually, Willy and Zach make their way to the basement, which is, apparently, where all the younger cousins are, and they’re swarmed by six very small blonde children the second they get down there. 

“We’re playing mini sticks,” a voice says, and Zach looks up to see that it’s Alex Nylander. His arms are crossed, and he’s kind of smirking. 

“My team’s winning!” a small voice pipes up. 

“Are you on Alex’s team?” Willy asks.

“Nah, Alex is on his own team,” the child replies, and Willy laughs as he walks to give Alex a hug. 

“As long as he’s losing,” Willy says, mostly to Alex, and Alex rolls his eyes, but Zach can see the fond smile on his face. 

“Don’t be rude,” Alex says, breaking away. “You should set a good example for the kids.” He turns to Zach. “Hey, man.” He holds out a hand, which Zach takes. 

“Hi,” Zach says, and Alex looks him up and down, like he’s evaluating Zach. It’s the most judged he’s felt all night, which is kind of surprising and more nerve-wracking than Zach had expected, and Willy must sense something, because he puts a hand on the small of Zach’s back, which is maybe more comforting than it should be.

“Hey,” Willy protests, “I am a great example. I thought you were playing Mario Kart.” 

“Not enough controllers,” one of Willy’s younger sisters calls from the couch, where she, another one of Willy’s sisters, and two other girls are very focused on Wario’s Gold Mine. 

“You’re a liar,” Willy calls back, and then turns his focus to a child who’s reaching up for him; Willy lifts him up, holding him in one arm, then says something in Swedish that makes him laugh. 

Zach kind of stares, probably smiling way too fondly, and he can’t help but think, for a second, that Willy looks really, really good like this. It’s not a thing, really, nothing besides a passing thought about his objectively handsome teammate, because said teammate is holding a baby, and Zach’s only human, but it’s still – it’s a lot, especially when the child points at Zach and says more things in Swedish, and Willy turns, looks at Zach kind of nervous, like Zach is going to judge his answer, and Zach can still feel the place where Willy’s hand had been earlier, and it’s just – a bit overwhelming, and Zach kind of wishes he had some space to process it. 

Then, the kid waves at Zach from his place in Willy’s arms and says, “Zach! Hello!”   

“Hi!” Zach says, waving back and snapping into his ‘I am talking to a child’ mode, and Willy laughs. 

The child says something else to Willy, and Willy turns to Zach and says, “He wants to know if you’ll play mini sticks with them.” He does a little head tilt thing, like,  _ would you be down,  _ and Zach does a small shrug in return,  _ sure, why not.  _

So that’s how Zach finds himself on a team with a hoard of Nylander cousins, playing against Willy and Alex, which is probably not very balanced, because Willy and Alex are losing pretty badly, but 3 professional hockey players against a group of literal children had seemed unfair, and Zach figures they can use the supervision, because Willy and Alex are too busy arguing with each other to make sure the children don’t, like, collide. 

It’s fun, though; Zach gets a goal that’s mostly an accident, because he’s not really going all-out, and Willy tries to challenge it, but he’s all red-faced and giggly as he demands to see the nonexistent video review. It’s dumb and sweet and funny, especially when Alex whacks him on the back of the head and says something in Swedish that makes Willy’s sisters laugh all the way from the couch. 

The kids drop out one by one, tired or distracted by the arrival of another cousin, until it’s just Willy, Zach, Alex, and two girls who seem determined to outlast each other, but are both clearly exhausted, at which point Willy and Zach share a look before Willy says, “Alright, it’s pretty safe to say you guys won.” 

Zach leans down and holds out his hands for the girls to give him five before they run off, probably to beg for a turn on the Wii, and Willy offers Zach a hand. 

“I still think that goal shouldn’t have counted,” Willy says, grinning. 

Zach takes it, and smiles back. “I don’t think it made much of a difference.” 

They linger for a second, and Zach’s half waiting to see if Willy has a comeback for that, but mostly, he just doesn’t want to look away. Willy’s hair is all messed up, his face kind of shiny from all the running around, and he just looks so happy, and just – it’s been a pretty fun evening so far, even if Zach’s here under really weird circumstances, and this is a nice moment, and Zach doesn’t quite want to end it. 

Then, Alex says something in Swedish that makes Willy drop Zach’s hand fast and blush very, very hard. It’s weird, but Zach brushes it off when Alex rolls his eyes, then shakes Zach’s hand. Zach doesn’t think he’s imagining the glint of approval he sees on Alex’s face, which feels pretty nice, all things considered.

They three of them wander over to the couch, where everyone seems to be gathered; all of Willy’s sisters are here, now, and a few other cousins who seem to be around their age are there too. Zach’s too tired from the game to get up and shake their hands once he’s already sitting down on the couch, but Willy goes and gives them hugs, speaking rapid Swedish and gesturing to Zach, before he comes back to the part of the sectional where Zach’s sitting, perched on a corner. 

“Uh,” Zach says, looking around, because there’s not really any room for Willy to sit. “Did you–” but before he gets a chance to finish it, Willy’s sitting in his lap, and Zach’s first instinct is to shove him off on principle, but he figures that wouldn’t be very boyfriend-like, so he doesn’t. 

“Is this alright?” Willy says, right into Zach’s ear. 

“Yeah, you’re good,” Zach finds himself saying, because he hadn’t quite expected Willy to ask, and he appreciates the gesture, and anyway, it feels kind of nice. 

Willy smiles, and throws an arm around Zach’s shoulders before he turns his attention to the television and starts heckling his sisters in Swedish, and Zach puts an arm around his waist, because it’s there. It’s kind of nice to get a break from the chatter, because Zach’s met a lot of people and won a hockey game tonight, and they’re not even done with appetizers, so he’s content to sit back and idly watch Mario Kart, and when Willy turns around to wordlessly check in with him every few minutes, the reassuring smile Zach gives him is genuine. 

Dinner itself is really good, and Zach and Willy sit with a few of the kids who they’d played with earlier, who are recounting the game to their parents in great detail. There are tables set up, but people are still moving around, trying to get a chance to chat with as many people as possible, Zach guesses. It’s kind of funny, because even though he knows almost no one here, and this isn’t even a holiday he celebrates, it’s kind of familiar, except he’s viewing it all as a guest. He doesn’t even realize how attentive Willy’s being until Willy leaves his side to go to the bathroom, and it’s the first time Zach’s left to fend for himself and be polite in front of his fake boyfriend’s family. He barely has time to wonder if it would be rude to use this as an opportunity to check his phone before Alex sits in Willy’s vacated chair, not even pretending to face the table. 

“So,” Alex says. “You and my brother.” 

Zach blinks. “Yes.” 

“You guys are – you’re legit? You’re not just, like, stringing him along?” 

“Of course not,” Zach says, hoping that no one around them is listening in. “He’s my boyfriend, for real.” 

“Good,” Alex says. “Because he’s always been really mysterious about it, but he really likes you, so you’d better not mess this up.” 

“Alright,” Zach says, and after a second, it hits him that Willy’s little brother is giving him a  _ shovel talk.  _

“I’m serious,” Alex says. “Don’t hurt him.” 

“I wouldn’t,” Zach says, and it’s kind of the truth; Willy’s strange, but he’s also Zach’s teammate, and his friend. He’s complicated in a way that Zach thinks he gets more than other people, and Zach’s always accepted the responsibility that comes with that. “I promise, I won’t.” 

“Okay,” Alex says, nodding. “Just wanted to make sure.” 

“I get it, I have siblings,” Zach says. “We’ve been trying to keep things kind of quiet, but – it’s real.” 

“But has it actually been a year?” Alex asks. 

“Yep,” Zach says. 

“So like, is your anniversary coming up?” Alex asks. “Or did it already happen?” 

“Uh,” Zach says, thinking quickly. “It already happened.” 

“When?” 

Zach distinctly feels like he’s being quizzed. He quickly tries to think back to last season, figuring their homestand just before the holidays is as good a time as any to set their faux-anniversary. “Almost a week ago?” And then, in a stroke of brilliance, “Yeah, it was on Monday, but we went out to dinner on Saturday.” The story begins to come together in his head. “It was – the Christmas Market, last year.” He mentally thanks Timehop for putting the memory in his head, and makes a note to give it a 5-star rating in the app store.

“Wow, he asked you out at the Christmas Market?” Alex says. “That’s  _ so lame. _ I mean, no offense, it’s cute, but I’m gonna give him so much crap for that, he’s such a fucking sap–” 

“Watch your language,” a voice says, and Zach turns around in time to see Willy walk past him to smack Alex’s shoulder. “That’s my seat.” 

“Your boyfriend should’ve done a better job protecting it,” Alex says, but he gets up, and Willy sits down. 

“That’s true,” Willy says, then looks at Zach, pretending to be contemplative. “Guess I’ve gotta break up with you now, huh?” 

“Sorry it had to end like this,” Zach says. “Guess you’ll never know what your Christmas present was going to be.” 

“Oh, wait, if there’s a present at stake, then I’ll consider giving you another chance,” Willy says. 

“Wow, you’re so generous,” Zach says, sarcastic. “Would you please? I know I don’t deserve it.” 

“As long as you promise I’ll never be left without a place to sit again,” Willy says. 

“I mean,” Zach says, “my lap is always open.” 

Willy’s eyes actually go wide, for a second, and then he smiles, almost impressed and kind of giddy, and there’s something else in it, too, something Zach can’t quite place, but whatever it is, Zach kind of likes it. 

“That was smooth,” Willy says, grinning so wide that Zach pretty much has to smile back. 

“I’ve got some game,” Zach says. 

“Evidently,” Willy says, almost surprised, which, fuck that, just because Zach can’t flirt with someone just by blinking, or whatever Nylander magic Willy pulls, doesn’t mean he can’t be charming when he needs to. 

Zach’s about to argue, and he’s kind of pumped to, honestly, but then Alex says, “Oh my god, get a room.” 

“Hey,” Zach says, at the exact same time Willy does, and then Zach feels kind of weird for a second, until Willy puts his hand on top of Zach’s. 

“Sorry we’re adorable,” Willy says. 

“Gross,” Alex says, crinkling his nose and walking away.  

“You’re gross,” Willy says, mostly to himself and Zach, because Alex is out of earshot. 

Zach snorts. “I’m really feeling the brotherly love.” 

“He’s the worst,” Willy says, smiling. ‘It’s great.” 

“You’re so weird,” Zach says, shaking his head and grinning, and Willy kicks him, then lets his foot rest on Zach’s shin, which – okay. He’s probably doing it to be convincing, and Zach knows this, but he’s not quite sure  _ who  _ it’s supposed to be convincing, because he’s pretty positive that no one’s supposed to see it if you’re playing footsie, and Willy’s definitely doing this on purpose. 

But Zach doesn’t want him to stop, so he doesn’t say anything, just gives Willy an easy shrug when Willy makes sure it’s okay, and then Willy’s cheeks turn kind of pink, which Zach is super on board with. A part of him thinks he might have some stuff to sort out, but he’s having a little too much fun to care, so he figures it can wait until later. 

* * *

By the time they’re supposed to be exchanging gifts, Zach’s had enough to drink that he’s refusing another glass of wine. Usually he’d allow himself one more, but after insisting on being the designated driver for the evening, Willy had decided that it was his duty to keep Zach’s glass full until Zach requested otherwise, which Zach hadn’t caught onto until he was already something on the brink of tipsy. It’s nice, though; he’d probably be a little more stressed out about everything without it, and it’s making it a little easier to not think about the fact that it should be weird that Willy’s kind of tucked up against him, giggling against Zach’s chest as two of his younger cousins quiz Willy’s dad, who’s doing a very convincing job as Santa.

“The bags are still upstairs, right?” Willy asks, and it takes Zach a second to realize he’s talking about the gifts. 

“Oh, shoot,” Zach says. “Sorry, I’ll go–” 

“No, I will,” Willy says, and he leans off of Zach, but Zach stands up first. 

“I insist,” Zach says, triumphant, even though there’s a large possibility he just fell for some reverse psychology, but he figures it doesn’t really matter, because Willy sticks his tongue out, even though he’s still smiling. 

It takes Zach a few more minutes than it should to get the bag, because the house is kind of big, which he hadn’t really noticed when every room had been filled with people. He gets there eventually, though, and mentally gives himself a point in the good boyfriend column. He hasn’t been keeping score that closely, but he’s pretty sure that if he had been, Willy would be winning. But that means Willy’s been really fucking nice to Zach tonight, so Zach doesn’t quite think that he’s losing, and regardless, they probably should split the good-boyfriend-points anyway, because this doesn’t seem like the kind of competition where there’s a loser anyway. 

Honestly, none it makes much sense, and Zach is starting to realize that he’s more tipsy than he’d previously thought, which is probably Willy’s fault, because Willy’s idea of a glass of wine is pretty generous. Or, maybe Willy’s weird goofiness is kind of contagious. Zach can’t be sure, but he does know that he’s in a good mood, and he can’t really pinpoint why, but he isn’t too concerned about it. 

“There he is,” Willy says, when Zach walks back into the family room. “What, did you get lost?” 

“A little,” Zach admits, smiling as he takes his place next to Willy again. “Did I miss much?” 

“Willy was about to tell us the story of how you two got together,” one of Willy’s sisters says. 

Zach feels the wave of panic hit him before he realizes why, but then he remembers that he’d already started to piece together a story for them, and he hasn’t told Willy about it yet, and Alex is within earshot, too. 

“Oh, it was at–” 

“The Christmas Market, we know,” she says. “But he was about to give us the deets.” 

“I was warming up to the idea of  _ maybe  _ giving you the deets,” Willy says, and he turns to Zach and rolls his eyes. 

Zach blinks, then shrugs, plays along. “What’d they get out of you besides Christmas Market?”

“Ferris wheel,” Willy says. 

“Do they know about the part where you tried to get us both killed and kicked off the ride?” Zach says, because that part is public knowledge. 

“You’re such a wimp,” Willy says. “Seriously, who gets scared on a ferris wheel?” 

“When you rock the car back and forth like a maniac–”

“A maniac?” Willy says, smiling way too wide, and Zach is too, probably. “A  _ maniac. _ You’re so–” 

“Can you guys stop with the old-married-bickering and skip to the story?” Willy’s sister asks. 

“Fine, fine,” Willy says, but he’s still looking at Zach. His expression turns into something – not quite serious, Zach thinks, but thoughtful. “So, we’re on the ferris wheel, and – uh, well, we were mic’d that day, but they’d both cut out, or run out of battery? I don’t know, they started beeping, so we turned them off.” 

“They’d cut off,” Zach says. “We went to high, and they were out of range.” It’s true, but it’s not something Zach would’ve remembered; he’s pretty impressed that Willy does. 

“Right,” Willy says. “So – he made some comment, uh. A joke, about how if we fell off the ride, no one would would know, because the mics weren’t there to catch it, and–” he looks away from Zach, back to his sister. “I don’t know, it was lame, but cute, so.” 

“So?” his sister prompts, and Zach’s thankful she does, because he kind of wants to know too. 

“I mean – it was the perfect opportunity, right? Ferris wheel, at this romantic market, with a cute guy who I’d been sort of – y’know, and then the mics cut out. So, I just went for it, and, like, kissed him.” 

It hits Zach like a fucking freight train, how easy it is to picture that, and for a second, he almost  _ believes  _ it. That had been a romantic moment, and Zach remembers thinking it then, too, in the weird beat of silence after their giggles had died down. It’s one of those memories that Zach Does Not Think About, because he’d told himself it didn’t mean anything at the time, but now he’s starting to think that it wasn’t quite nothing, because Willy is blushing all the way to the tips of his ears, and Zach’s mouth is dry. 

“Aw,” Willy’s sister says. “That’s such a cute story.” 

“Yeah,” Zach says, and his voice sounds distant even to him. He tries to muster up a polite smile, though, and probably manages it well enough, even if he can’t quite look at Willy. “Uh, hey, Will, did you wanna – gifts?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Willy says, and he starts to dig through the bags at his feet. 

Zach sits back and tries to breathe a bit, now very aware of how close Willy is to him, and how close they’ve been. He’s trying to figure out why the idea of kissing Willy is making his head spin, because it’s not like he’s never thought about kissing Willy before. Zach’s thought about kissing half the team, at this point. It’s hard not to think about kissing someone when you like them, and they’re there, and happy, Zach thinks, and it’s just – it’s a normal impulse, whatever. 

The thing is, now Zach’s thinking about it, and maybe it’s because Willy is so fucking good looking, or so fucking weird, or so fucking cute, right now, the way he’s being all sweet with his family, but Zach can’t stop thinking about what things would be like if Willy had kissed him on the ferris wheel that day, and he can’t stop thinking about kissing Willy, generally. 

“Um,” Willy says, turning to Zach, a small wrapped box in his hand. “Happy holidays.” 

Zach shouldn’t read too much into the fact that it’s wrapped in blue and white snowflake paper, and not the red and green Christmas tree stuff that he’d used on all the other gifts. He knows that Willy had probably gotten a gift for Zach at the last minute, had probably just run out of wrapping paper at that point anyway, but still, it’s a nice thought, and Zach appreciates it as he picks the tape off. 

Willy snorts. “Of course you don’t tear the paper.” 

“Of course you do,” Zach says, nodding at the pile of discarded paper at Willy’s feet from the gifts he’d received earlier, and things start to feel a little more familiar again. He pauses what he’s doing to grab Willy’s gift and hand it to him. 

“It’s the Christmas spirit,” Willy shoots back. 

“Ah yes,” Zach says, “my area of expertise.” 

“You – that’s not what I meant,” Willy says, and Zach laughs and successfully removes the last of the three pieces of tape that had held the paper in place.  

“Happy holidays to you too,” Zach says pointedly, as he takes the paper off. 

The gift, as it turns out, is a leather phone case that doubles as a wallet, which Zach has always kind of wanted, but he hasn’t actually needed enough to justify buying one for himself. It’s a nice gift, and also thoughtful, almost personal, too, because Zach’s mentioned this around Willy, and this means that Willy was paying attention. 

“Oh man,” Willy says next to him, and when Zach turns, he can see that Willy’s face is just lit up as he stares at the bright blue polaroid camera in his lap. “You won gift giving.” 

“No, this is sweet,” Zach says. 

“I thought that was sweet, but this – this is revolutionary,” Willy says. “I can’t believe I didn’t have one of these before.” 

“I kind of can’t either,” Zach says. 

Willy looks up at Zach, smiling all bright and wide, says “Thank you, Zach,” and Zach’s stomach is doing fucking somersaults in the best possible way. 

“You too, man,” Zach says. He’s on the brink of realizing something big, he thinks, and he’s terrified, but he can’t tear his eyes away from Willy’s face, not when it’s this happy and this beautiful. 

Willy’s eyes flicker down to Zach’s mouth, and nothing feels like it did a few minutes ago. It’s like they’re the only two people here, even though Zach knows they’re in a living room surrounded by Willy’s family, and as Zach leans in, he thinks he should be doing this  _ because  _ he’s surrounded by Willy’s family, but then he’s pressing his lips against Willy’s lips, and he knows, he  _ knows _ that this has nothing to do with the fake dating thing, and that he’s just doing this because he wants to kiss Willy really fucking badly. He doesn’t know when he started wanting to, but he definitely does now, and when Willy’s lips go soft, slot against his as he presses back, a little, Zach realizes that Willy wants him to, maybe just as badly. 

And it’s good, probably better than it should be, considering the circumstances, but Zach couldn’t give a fuck about the circumstances, because he’s pretty sure that this is something that started building a while ago, and that’s – that’s big, probably.

Zach pulls back, because he should, and because he doesn’t really know how to handle this, especially when they aren’t alone. Willy’s staring at him, his mouth still a little open, and he’s looking at Zach like he doesn’t know what to do, and honestly, Zach doesn’t either. He wants to touch his lips, and that’s fucking cheesy, so he doesn’t, but Willy does, and he doesn’t even seem to realize he’s doing it, because his eyes are still fixed on Zach’s face. 

There is no way they look like boyfriends, right now. They probably look like two people who just kissed for the first time, and whose hearts are beating too fast, and, like, it doesn’t matter, because no one’s looking at them, but Zach really wishes they were alone, because he has a thousand questions to ask Willy, and he really just – he wants to be touching him.

Willy seems to realize what he’s doing, and immediately tears his hand away from his mouth, turns bright red, and stands up. “I just remembered, I’ve gotta check on something.” 

“Okay,” Zach says. 

“I’m sorry, I just – sorry,” Willy says, and Zach can hear the uncertainty from before starting to set into panic. 

“No, do what you need to,” Zach says, tries to show that he really means it. He wants to smile, play it off like everything’s cool, but it’s not, really, so he goes for genuine. 

Willy just looks at him for a beat longer, then nods, turns around, and leaves. 

Zach just blinks after him, not even sure what just happened. Like, it’d been one kiss, and it had barely been a peck, but now Zach’s whole world is upside-down, even though it’s only been a few seconds since they were chirping each other and exchanging gifts. He’s still holding the wrapping paper in one hand, and his mouth is kind of tingling, and nothing makes sense, all of a sudden. 

He just – he doesn’t know. He thinks, and he keeps thinking, and he keeps waiting for some sort of explanation to pop into his head, to remember some bit of information that will make all of this come together, but it just doesn’t. 

He stands up, kind of shaky on his feet, and makes his way over to the bathroom. He wonders if anyone can notice how fucking weird he’s being, or if anyone saw anything, but everyone else seems normal. People have started to migrate back out to other parts of the house, to play with new toys or try on clothing, and a peek into the dining room lets Zach know that dessert is being served soon; he sees the plate of brownies Willy had brought earlier, and has this stupid urge to grab one, in case they get eaten quickly, but that would probably be rude, and they’re just brownies made by a guy he sees literally every day, so– 

God, he has to see Willy  _ every day.  _

He walks past the dining room quickly, doesn’t think about brownies or anything else, and quickly makes his way to the bathroom, where he takes some deep breaths and washes his hands for about five minutes longer than necessary. He feels, like, slightly guilty for the water waste, but that’s mostly because he needs something to worry about besides Willy. 

In all honesty, he’s not quite sure what his next move is after the bathroom, because he’s still trying to figure out what the  _ fuck  _ is going on, but he’s saved when he runs into one of Willy’s cousins – six-year-old Anna, not to be confused with eight-year-old Anna – who is holding a book and has a very determined look on her face. 

“I got this book as a present,” she says. “Can you read it with me?” 

It’s pretty much as close to a miracle as Zach could hope for, honestly. 

“I would be delighted to,” Zach says, and she smiles, pleased, then turns around and leads him into the basement, where there are a few older kids – like, middle school age, if Zach had to guess – on the couch, deeply engrossed in their phones. It’s strange, seeing it all quiet like this, but Zach figures it’s the time of the night when people start to need a break from the constant chatter.

As it turns out, the book Anna got is one of Zach’s favorites, and they try and go through the first few pages together, with Anna attempting some reading, and she does a good job, Zach thinks, even though he doesn’t know anything about reading levels. Eventually she gets frustrated, though, and he tells her it’s okay if she wants him to read the rest of the book, and she seems happy to yell “No!” as Zach pretends to be a pigeon begging to drive a bus. 

Zach gets, like, pretty into it, too; it’s probably dorky, and he’s pretty sure that the 12-year-old Nylanders are judging him, but whatever, it’s fun, and Anna’s enjoying it, and Zach doesn’t even remember why he’s so worried until he hears a clicking noise. 

He looks up and sees that Willy’s down here, now, holding the polaroid camera, his eyes fixed on the developing photo.  

“Don’t let me interrupt,” Willy says, his voice indiscernible. 

“Oh,” Zach says, then looks at Anna. “That was, uh, the last page, actually.” 

“The end,” she says, and Zach smiles and gives her a high five, even though he’s terrified all over again about the Willy thing. 

“Anna, they’re serving dessert upstairs,” Willy says. “Your mom thought you’d want to know that there are brownies.” 

“Are they gooey brownies?” she asks. 

“Very gooey,” Willy says solemnly, and Anna grabs the book out of Zach’s hands and starts to run up the stairs, stopping when she’s already halfway up. 

“Thank you for reading to me!” she says, waving to Zach. 

“Thank you for reading with me,” Zach calls back, but her back is already turned. 

The older kids follow suit, because apparently even moody adolescents want dessert, and Zach sort of stares at the staircase as everyone leaves, because if he looks away, he’ll have to look at Willy, and he doesn’t quite know how to do that, right now. 

“D’you wanna see this picture?” Willy asks. 

Zach shifts his focus, pretends to be really interested in the corner of the rug that’s right by his hand. He shrugs. “Sure.” 

“It’s cute,” Willy says, and Zach can’t tell how he says it. It’s awkward, right now, the two of them in the totally-empty basement, and it’s even more awkward when Willy sits against the wall next to Zach, bumps their knees together on purpose as he hands over the picture, which is, like, objectively adorable, because they both have ridiculous expressions on their faces. It’s the kind of thing Zach would post on Instagram if it wasn’t a random cousin of his teammate, honestly.

“Any picture with a kid is cute, it’s kind of a copout,” Zach says, handing the picture back to Willy, and he tries not to read too much into the careful way Willy handles the picture. 

“Guess so,” Willy says. 

There’s a beat of silence, and Zach wants to fill it with polite conversation, but he doesn’t really know what to say, how to gloss over the fact that they kissed, if he even wants to. 

It’s Willy who breaks it. “My family likes you.” 

“That’s good,” Zach says. “They seem like nice people.” 

“They really are,” Willy says. “My sister said you seemed ‘too nice’ to be a hockey player, and my mom – she really likes you.” 

“So I guess this was a success, then,” Zach says. 

“I guess,” Willy says. “So, um. When you were talking with Alex, during dinner – what were you talking about?” 

“Oh,” Zach says, and looks intently at his hands, which are resting on his knees. “Uh, he was just – y’know. Being… protective, and, like, brotherly.” 

“So it was about–” Willy starts, but cuts himself off before he says the words, which is probably for the best, because Zach doesn’t know if he can stand to hear them. 

“I mean, yeah,” Zach says. “I thought he told you. That was when I came up with the whole Christmas Market story.” 

“What?” Willy asks, sounding genuinely confused. “I came up with that.” 

“No, I did, during dinner,” Zach says. “I forgot to tell you, but Alex said he was gonna give you shit for it.” 

“He didn’t,” Willy says. 

“Then how did you hear about it?” Zach asks. 

“I just came up with it,” Willy says, and he sounds weird, all of a sudden. “I dunno. You – did you go into detail?” 

“No, just the Market,” Zach says. “He was asking about our, uh, anniversary.” 

“Right, our anniversary,” Willy says. “That would be around now.” 

“About a week ago, actually,” Zach says. 

“Wow,” Willy says. “We’re – wow.”  

There’s still something in his voice that Zach can’t place, so he looks at his face, and it’s – he doesn’t know if he’s ever seen Willy look so terrified, and he’s trying not to show it, but Zach can see the way his face is bright red, his eyes wide, staring straight ahead, and he’s clutching his knee so tight his knuckles are white. He almost startles, because whatever he had been expecting, it certainly hadn’t been this. 

“Will,” Zach asks, concern taking the place of the weirdness he’d felt before, because Willy looks like he’s going to have an actual panic attack. “Are you okay?” 

“Fine,” Willy says, sounding anything but. “Sorry, I just – a year is a long time.” 

“Sometimes,” Zach says, trying to sound non committal. “Dude, are you–” 

“My family really likes you, Zach,” Willy says, and the words come tumbling out. “They think I’ve been in this happy relationship with – well, with  _ you,  _ for a  _ year,  _ and next week I’m going to have to tell them you dumped me, and – god, this was a fucked-up plan.”

“Don’t worry–” 

“No, I’m gonna worry,” Willy says. “They all think you’re too good for me, dude, and I didn’t want them to worry, and now they’re gonna worry even more.” 

“Just – tell them it was a mutual thing,” Zach says. “Or that you dumped me.” 

Willy laughs, this bitter thing that Zach hates. “Who the fuck would believe that  _ I  _ dumped  _ you?”  _ he says. “Dude, my big sister said she’s never seen me this happy before, alright? That’s – they’re gonna worry.” 

“That’s just a thing people say,” Zach says. “They want you to be happy, so they look for signs that you’re happy.”

“Well, they didn’t have to look that hard,” Willy says, shaking his head. “You’re too fucking  _ good _ at this, Zach, I can’t – god, how the fuck did we come up with the same fucking story?” 

“I just – I don’t know,” Zach says. He tries to keep his voice gentle. “Great minds think alike, I guess.” 

“A year,” Willy says. “A  _ year,  _ god, that’s – a whole fucking year.” 

“Will,” Zach says, and he puts a hand on Willy’s back. Willy flinches at the touch, but doesn’t ask Zach to move his hand, so Zach keeps it there, rubs steady circles with his thumb as Willy puts his face in his hands. “Breathe, please.” 

“I’m breathing,” Willy says, his voice muffled as he relaxes into the touch, and Zach feels relieved. “I’m just a fucking idiot.” 

“You’re not an idiot,” Zach says. 

“Yes, I am,” Willy says, and he sounds tired, almost resigned. “You’re sweet, but I really, really am.” 

“No, you’re stressed,” Zach says. “People make weird choices when they’re stressed.” 

“Like kissing their linemates?” Willy asks. 

Zach’s throat catches at that, but he pushes it down, because saying what Willy needs to hear is more important than telling the truth, right now. “Sometimes, yeah.” 

“Right,” Willy says, and he takes his hands out of his face and looks at Zach for a second. There’s something in his eyes like disappointment, but before Zach can dwell on it, Willy scoots closer and rests his head on Zach’s shoulder. “We should stage a fight.” 

“What?” Zach says as he adjusts to wrap an arm around Willy. 

“So the breakup thing is less sudden,” Willy says. “Then we can get out of here.” 

“Do you want to leave?” Zach asks. 

Willy shrugs. “Kinda.” 

“Is it because of the whole – because you don’t want to keep up the whole charade?” Zach asks. 

Willy snorts. “Did you just use the word ‘charade’?” 

“Yeah, I’m a nerd, whatever,” Zach says. “Dude, if you want – I can just, like, leave.” 

“I can’t ask you to do that,” Willy says. 

“You definitely can,” Zach says. 

“Your car?” Willy says.

“You can drive it back later, I can get a cab,” Zach says. “Dude, don’t – this whole thing is about you and your family, okay? I can leave right now if you want me to.” 

“No,” Willy says, a little too fast. “Not right now. Just – are you sure you’re okay with leaving?” 

“Yes,” Zach says, firm, because he can tell it’s what Willy wants. 

Willy tucks his face into Zach’s shoulder. “Then, uh, yeah, if you could. I’m sorry.” 

Zach wants to kiss the top of his head, but he’s smart enough to hold back. “Don’t be,” he says, then kind of squeezes him. 

They stay like that for a few minutes, not saying anything, and Zach can hear Willy breathe, deep and purposeful. It’s peaceful, maybe for the first time all night, and Zach is suddenly feeling the hours he spent talking to strangers, smiling politely without a real break, and he’s kind of tired too. 

They don’t say anything when Willy stands and then offers a hand to Zach to help him up, and Zach tries not to be surprised and disappointed when Willy drops it immediately after. They make their way up the stairs, back into the excitement of the main party, where the younger cousins are experiencing a post-dessert sugar rush, and Zach realizes that he just doesn’t have the energy to be here anymore. He says his goodbyes fast, half because his instincts are braced for a full-on Jewish goodbye, half because he just wants to go, and before he knows it, they’re standing on the front lawn, and Willy is ordering him an Uber. 

“He’ll be here in two minutes,” Willy says, before he locks his phone and tucks it in his pocket. “I can wait with you.” 

“You don’t have to,” Zach says. 

Willy shrugs. “I want to,” he says, and then sits down on the grass. 

“Alright,” Zach says, sitting next to him. 

Willy looks up at the sky, not saying anything, and Zach looks at him, and even when he realizes that he’s probably staring, he doesn’t look away. 

“I always forget that Christmas kind of sucks,” Willy says, smiling. 

“Big family stuff is like that,” Zach says. “Even when you love them.” 

Willy turns to look at him. “Did you guys do anything? For Hanukkah, or whatever?”

“My family went to our friend’s latke party,” Zach says. “We had a game that night though, so. I didn’t go.” 

“Oh,” Willy says. “I’m sorry.” 

Zach shrugs. “It’s just Hanukkah.” 

“It’s still family,” Willy says. 

“Family and family friends,” Zach says. “Two of my exes were there.” 

“Seriously?” Willy says, laughing a little. “That’s so weird.” 

“Not really,” Zach says. “Plus, my brother also couldn’t make it. It’s not really a big deal kind of thing.” 

“Do you see them on other holidays?” Willy asks. 

“Mmhmm,” Zach says. “The bigger deal ones, usually. I’m seeing my parents tomorrow anyway.” 

“Yeah?” Willy says. 

“Yeah,” Zach says. “Going to the movies.” 

“On Christmas?” Willy says. “I didn’t know movie theaters were open on Christmas.” 

Zach smiles. “What, you don’t know about this? Jews on Christmas, movies and Chinese food, man.”

“Huh,” Willy says. “I’ve never heard that before.” 

“Bullshit,” Zach says. 

“No, I’m serious,” Willy says. “This is news to me.” 

“Well, now you know a little more about Jewish culture,” Zach says. “So this has been a successful Christmas, I guess.” 

“An exchange of cultures,” Willy says. “I – you didn’t feel weird being at a Christmas thing, right?” 

“Everything’s already a Christmas thing, this time of year,” Zach says. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Alright,” Willy says, and Zach is gratified when Willy doesn’t ask any follow-up questions, because he has to be in a special kind of mood to talk about Jewish stuff with someone who’s not Jewish. 

“How long til the Uber?” Zach asks. 

Willy takes his phone out of his pocket, and Zach leans over to try and see the screen. “Three minutes, now.” 

“Happens,” Zach says, and he doesn’t move out of Willy’s space before he looks at Willy’s face, which is maybe a bad idea, because Willy’s mouth is… like, right there, and kind of open, and when Zach’s eyes move to meet his, Willy’s already staring at him, and Zach doesn’t really know what to do, but then Willy’s leaning away, still staring at Zach, his face determined. 

“I’ll be back in, like, thirty seconds,” Willy says, standing up. “Don’t move.” 

“Uh–” Zach says, his brain not quite caught up to what’s happening. 

“Just – wait,” Willy says, and then he turns around and sprints inside, really fucking fast even by pro athlete standards. 

Zach just – blinks, and he doesn’t move, and he doesn’t know what Willy could possibly be doing, and he can’t even begin to guess. His mind is totally blank, and the night is quiet, all of a sudden, and he just stares at the door for what he’s pretty sure is a full minute, until Willy comes sprinting back out. Zach stands up when he sees him, probably too fast, and Willy skids to a stop by him, and Zach can see that he’s holding something. 

“Hi,” Willy says, out of breath. “Sorry, I just – I was gonna tell you something, before.” 

“What–” 

“In the basement. That’s why I went down there,” Willy says. “I was gonna tell you something, and I freaked out instead.” 

“Okay,” Zach says. “Uh, are you – did you want to tell me now?” 

“Yeah,” Willy says, still catching his breath. “Just – you know, don’t you.”

“What?” Zach says, and he’s pretty sure his confusion is justified. 

“You know,” Willy says. “You told Alex about the Christmas Market, right? You figured it out then, and it was dumb to think that you wouldn’t–”

“I’m not sure what you’re saying,” Zach says. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to pretend,” Willy says. “It’s – we’re friends, and you’re really great, and I appreciate everything you’ve done, but just – you don’t have to keep trying if you don’t feel the same, I can move on–”

Everything else in the world turns to static, and Zach can barely process anything besides the fact that Willy’s saying phrases like ‘feel the same’ and ‘move on’ about  _ him.  _ He doesn’t even trust that he heard that right, because what Willy’s implying is so far out, and Zach knows better than to jump to conclusions like that.

“I don’t know anything,” Zach says, and he means it, too, but Willy looks at him almost exasperated, like Zach’s playing dumb. 

“Seriously, dude, you’re  _ smart.  _ My dumbass little brother guessed it, there’s no way you didn’t,” Willy says. 

“Guessed  _ what?” _ Zach asks, the words coming out slow and shaky, and maybe that’s when Willy realizes that Zach’s being genuine, because his eyes go wide. 

“Guessed – like, you know,” Willy says. 

“No, I don’t know,” Zach says. “Willy, what are you–” 

“That’s why you kissed me earlier,” Willy says. “Because you knew I – you didn’t want to turn me down, so you figured you’d give it a shot, right?” 

“No,” Zach says. “No, that’s not – no.” 

“But then why would you – you have to know,” Willy says. “On the ferris wheel. That’s – you knew then, and you’ve been nice about it ever since.” 

“Nice about what?” Zach says, and Willy’s eyes are so wide, and he looks so hurt. 

“You know,” Willy says. “If – at the very least you know now, right?” 

“I really don’t,” Zach says. “Can you just – tell me? With words?” 

“It’s – I can’t – it’s hard to say,” Willy says. “I mean – you can guess, probably.” 

“I can’t,” Zach says, even though there’s a small part of his brain that says that he can, but it’s a part of his brain that Zach doesn’t listen to, the same one that’s unhelpfully pointing out that Willy’s hair looks really fucking good when it’s all windswept like this. 

“No,” Willy says, shaking his head. “No, you can’t play dumb on this.” 

“Maybe I just am dumb,” Zach says, and he’s being serious, but it comes out as a joke that lands wrong. 

Willy’s face is all hurt, except that’s not quite right, because it’s not just hurt, it’s heartbreak, plain and simple and obvious as anything. Zach’s never seen it on Willy before, not like this, but he knows it, and his head is spinning too much to do anything to stop it. 

“You don’t have to be a dick,” Willy says, and he takes a step back. 

“No, I didn’t–” Zach says, reaching an arm toward him, but Willy cuts him off, angry, now. 

“Like, fuck you,” Willy says. “Seriously, this is fucking shitty for me, alright? I don’t want things to be like this, okay, and if you’re trying to be mean to get me to get the fuck over you, then just – cut it out, I don’t know.” 

“I’m not trying to be a dick,” Zach says. “I’m really just confused.” 

“Well, you shouldn’t be,” Willy says, crossing his arms, and Zach doesn’t know what to say to that, but before he has a chance to figure it out, a car pulls up in front of them. 

“I–” Zach says, and he points at the cab, kind of helpless. 

“Just – fuck it, go,” Willy says. “Bye, I guess.” 

“I’m sorry,” Zach says. 

“That doesn’t–” Willy sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Whatever.” 

“Please enjoy the rest of the night,” Zach says. “Please.” 

“Can you just go?” Willy says, and Zach doesn’t want to think about how his voice sounds kind of wet. “I – here are some brownies, for the road.” He shoves the thing he’d been holding at Zach, which Zach can now see is a napkin holding two brownies. 

“Willy–”

“I hope they’re adequate,” Willy says. 

Zach’s brain is out of words, and the world is still spinning, and Willy’s turning away, so Zach just grabs his bags and climbs in the car. 

* * *

Zach’s halfway back to the city by the time he realizes he’s maybe the stupidest man on the planet.

He’s sitting in the backseat, idly playing dumb games on his phone, and his brain hasn’t really thought about anything Nylander-related since he left, because there’s just too much, and Zach needs a fucking break. He’s been waiting for an epiphany, but it’s not coming, and it still hasn’t come, and he knows this will probably be something he has to sit down and figure out, but he doesn’t have the mental energy, so he’s allowing his brain some time to do nothing. 

Out of the corner of his eye he sees the brownies in his lap, and he doesn’t think anything of them, just that they’re brownies and he’s – well, he’s not hungry, but he’s not  _ not  _ hungry, so he picks one up and takes a bite. 

It’s gooey, and sweet, and probably just – okay, nothing special, except for the fact that Willy made it. But, like, Willy did make it, so Zach thinks that it’s more than just okay, better than adequate, and very much something special. 

And it’s just – there, right in his brain, as simple as can be, after taking one bite of a brownie that’s been kind of messed up from sitting in a crumpled napkin. Just – the most obvious thing in the world, because of course it is. 

Willy is weird, and beautiful, and goofy, and he makes brownies and does random shit that Zach almost always indulges. He loves his family, and he plays sick hockey, and he doesn’t know what he’s doing nearly as often as he pretends to, and he’s, like, one of Zach’s closest friends. They’ve occupied each other’s space for so long, and Zach’s spent so much time resisting his easy charm that he forgets how fucking easy it is to fall for Willy, except he apparently managed to do it anyway.

Like. Zach likes Willy. 

And Zach – a rational part of his brain starts working again, because Zach’s pretty sure, looking at tonight, that Willy likes him back, maybe, and that’s not an instinct, that’s just data analysis, or whatever. And it’s not very complicated data, either. Willy had, like. Pretty much told him. 

He swallows the bite of brownie he’s been chewing, and he hasn’t even been chewing it for that long, because he’s not zoned out or anything. It doesn’t feel like an epiphany, just like a reminder, a nudge of “hey, remember this?” from his brain, but this is the first time he’s ever felt it this clearly. 

Zach likes Willy. Zach probably liked Willy for a while. Willy almost definitely likes Zach. Willy has potentially liked Zach for a while. 

It’s that fucking simple, and Zach fucked it up. 

He takes another bite of brownie, and lets his head thump dramatically against the car window.  _ You’re smart,  _ Willy’s voice echoes in his head, and Zach wants to laugh, but he doesn’t, just finishes the second brownie and takes out his phone. 

He spends the rest of the cab ride trying to draft a message to Willy, and when he ends up accidentally hitting send on a text that says  _ the brownies  _ and nothing else, he figures it’s what he deserves. 

* * *

Zach wakes up the next morning to someone ringing his doorbell, and he’s really not awake at all, and he’s not sure what he’s expecting when he opens the door, but it’s certainly not Auston Matthews.

“Good mor–” Zach starts, but he realizes a second too late that Auston is, like, pissed, but at that point, Auston’s already cutting him off.

“What the fuck happened with you and Willy?”

Zach blinks. “Do you wanna come in?” 

Auston just grunts, and stomps inside so angrily that Zach wants to apologize for not giving Auston the satisfaction of pushing him. That’s maybe excessively polite, even for Zach, but Zach has a feeling he deserves this, even if he’s not awake enough to remember why. 

“Do you want coffee?” Zach asks. 

“No,” Auston says. “I want to know why Willy filled up my voicemail box with weird messages about you and pigeons and brownies.” 

Zach blinks. “Okay, uh, I need coffee.”

“Well, in that case, make some for me too,” Auston says, and Zach wanders into the kitchen, grateful now more than ever that he has a Keurig.  

Auston sits at the counter, glaring at Zach as he grabs mugs, and Zach isn’t as confused by it as he should be, because his pre-caffeine brain does remember Willy being upset as Zach climbed into a cab. 

“So, I’m pretty sure I fucked up last night,” Zach says. 

“Yes,” Auston says. “You very much did.” 

Zach puts the first cup of coffee that’s ready in front of him. “What did Willy tell you?” 

“Just that you were at his family’s thing last night,” Auston says. 

“Did he tell you why?” Zach asks. 

Auston shakes his head, and Zach bites his lip. 

“I don’t want to tell you things that are his business and not mine,” Zach says. “I don’t–”

“Did he tell you that his family thinks you’re dating?” Auston says. 

“Oh,” Zach says. “Yeah.” 

“I know about that, then,” Auston says. 

“Okay,” Zach says. He shouldn’t really be surprised; Willy and Auston aren’t quite best friends, but Auston’s in love with his de facto best friend, so he and Willy talk a lot. 

“So, what happened?” Auston asks. 

“I mean – it was a very confusing night for me, in my defense,” Zach says. “Like, first off, his entire family is blonde, and that threw me off, and then he was just – I don’t know, laughing a lot, and we played mini sticks, and he makes really good brownies.” He’s rambling and he knows it, but this is what Auston gets for having Zach talk about his feelings before he’s had caffeine. “He got me a phone case that’s also a wallet? Like, that was – it was so, like, right, y’know? And then I kissed him, and his mouth is – whatever, that’s–” thankfully, Zach’s coffee finishes brewing, then, cutting off what Zach’s pretty sure was about to become a full-on rant about Willy’s face.

He grabs the cup, downs half the contents in one go before he lowers the mug to see Auston staring at him. 

“You kissed Willy?” Auston asks. 

Zach finishes swallowing the coffee in his mouth as he nods. “A little, yeah.” 

“Like, as part of the fake dating thing, or–” 

“Kind of,” Zach says. “Not really? I don’t–” he takes another sip of coffee and wills himself to not say anything too embarrassing, but what ends up coming out of his mouth is, “He’s really fucking kissable.”

“Dude, what?” Auston says, and Zach knows he’s serious because he doesn’t even chirp Zach for being a mess right now, even though Zach deserves to be mocked endlessly for this, probably. 

“Just–” Zach squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath, doesn’t open them as he speaks. “Have you ever met someone who’s, like, literally perfect?”

“Uh,” Auston says. 

“Like,” Zach says, opens his eyes to stare into his coffee. “Like, really fucking attractive, and funny, and strange, but in, like, a good way? And you know you’re gonna be teammates, and you don’t want to fuck that up, so you just – tell yourself you’re not into them at all? Even though it’s not true?” 

“What are you saying?” Auston says. 

“I’m saying – like, that thing, y’know? The thing that’s really hard to say.” Zach belatedly realizes he’s shaking. He has another sip of coffee, even though it probably won’t help anything. 

“Which thing that’s really hard to say?” Auston asks, his voice firm.

“Um,” Zach says. “Y’know. There’s just, like, a chance that I’m in love with Willy, or whatever.” 

The words sit there for a second, and Zach just keeps staring into his mug, even though he feels Auston’s eyes on him. 

“Oh,” Auston says. 

“Yeah, so I – I sort of just, like figured that out, but it was too late, so.” 

“Too late?”

“Like –  he thinks I’m not into him?” Zach says. “Which isn’t true, I really, really am. And now I’m not really sure what to do.”

“Talk to him,” Auston says, like it’s obvious, and Zach stares at him, furrowing his brow a little. 

“I can’t just talk to him,” Zach says, shaking his head. “No, that just – what would I even say?” 

“That you like him,” Auston says. 

“But–” Zach cuts himself off. “Okay, I’m not gonna lie, if I were you, I’d probably give me the same advice, but I’m pretty sure it’s terrible.” 

“Yeah, that happens,” Auston says, smirking a little, and Zach is suddenly very embarrassed about the last fourteen hours of his life.

“I’m just really into him,” Zach says, and it finally feels like a realization. “Shit, I just – I really, really like him. Like,  _ really, _ like – you know that song? With all the really’s? It’s that.”

“Really,” Auston says, and he looks way too fucking smug. 

“You’re way too fucking smug,” Zach informs him, and Auston’s smile doesn’t falter. 

“Dude, you’re a  _ disaster,”  _ Auston says, and he puts his chin in his hands, because savior of the hockey world or not, he’s a fucking dork. “This never happens.” 

“You’re an asshole,” Zach says. 

“Yeah, well, you’re into Willy,” Auston says. 

“Fair point,” Zach says, then takes a sip of coffee, and considers calling Auston out for being ten times worse about Marns, but decides to be nice. “You’re terrible at Call of Duty.” 

“You compared your feelings for Willy to a song,” Auston says. 

“A good song,” Zach says. “I stand by it.”

“That is not a good song,” Auston counters, which is objectively wrong, so Zach decides he’s done being nice. 

He waits for Auston to take a sip of coffee, then says, very pointedly, “Marns likes that song.” 

Auston’s face is pretty priceless as he sputters, but he eventually manages to swallow the coffee. “Marns has shit music taste,” he says, still kind of choking on coffee. 

“I dunno,” Zach says. “There’s that one song he plays a lot, about hittin’ em with the four, or whatever, what’s that one called? He really, really, really, really–”

“I hate you,” Auston says, speaking over Zach as he stands up and walks out of the kitchen, and Zach follows. 

“–really, really likes it,” Zach finishes, as Auston flops onto Zach’s couch. 

“Okay, well, fuck you,” Auston grumbles, and then he furrows his brow. “Does he actually?”

“What, does Marns like you?” Zach asks. 

“No, does he like that song,” Auston says, and then he blushes. “Or – I don’t know.” 

“Auston–”

“This is about your love life, not mine,” Auston says, and Zach realizes that’s the most they’re gonna talk about it. “You should talk to Willy.” 

“Probably,” Zach says, sitting down next to Auston. “It’s just – it’s a lot, y’know?” 

“Yeah,” Auston says, and he elbows Zach, gentle. “It’ll be worth it, though.”

“Maybe. Don’t tell anyone I said he’s perfect,” Zach says. “That’s not true. He’s just, like, handsome. Perfect looking, I guess.” 

“That’s fair,” Auston says. “Weird guy, though.” 

“He’s so weird,” Zach says, and he can hear how stupidly fond he sounds. “It’s just – I don’t know. He’s my friend, right, and I don’t – like, I’ve never done the whole pining thing before.” 

“Happens to the best of us,” Auston says. 

“What if I’m reading this wrong?” Zach says. “Like, objectively, I’m pretty sure he likes me? But I just – I can’t just believe that, that’s just fucking scary.” 

“I’m pretty sure that’s normal,” Auston says. 

“Are there people who go through this without being total disasters?” Zach says. “Is that, like, possible?” 

“You’ll get through it,” Auston says, patting Zach’s knee before he stands up. “I have to go do Christmas stuff, but – just, go talk to him. He’s really fucking upset.” 

Zach’s stomach does something awful at the idea that Willy’s upset. “Where is he?” 

“I don’t know,” Auston says. “You should text him.” 

“Stop being the sensible one,” Zach says, walking Auston to the door. “Also, Merry Christmas.” 

“Thanks, man,” Auston says, and he gives Zach a final nod before he turns around and walks out of Zach’s apartment. 

* * *

Zach goes the entire day without doing anything about the Willy situation, but he doesn’t stop thinking about it, and he drinks, like, so much coffee. He knows he just has to send one text, and it’s not even a particularly difficult text, just pure logistics, but he just – he  _ can’t.  _ It’s simple, but it’s the first step toward something very much not simple, and very, very huge, and it feels like too much.

He’s half-hoping Willy will text him, but he’s not surprised when he doesn’t, because this is kind of on Zach, now, and he knows that, but he’s not used to laying this much of himself on the line. He’s jittery, and terrified, and bizarrely happy underneath it all, but mostly scared, because it’s him and Willy, which, what the  _ fuck.  _

The thing is, Zach has always been practical. He’s  _ good  _ at being practical. Texting Willy to figure out when Willy has time to talk is the logical, reasonable thing to do, Zach is sure, but that doesn’t explain why he finds himself driving to Willy’s apartment later that night. 

It’s not even a conscious choice. He says goodbye to his parents and siblings at the restaurant, where he’d spent the entire meal trying to talk about a movie he’d barely been able to pay attention to, and when he goes to his car, he just – he starts driving in that direction, doesn’t even think about it until he’s parking. It’s the exact kind of thing Zach doesn’t do, showing up at someone’s house after not talking to them all day, and once he’s there, he just sits in his car, for a second. 

“Okay,” he says out loud. “Okay.” 

He makes his way up to Willy’s apartment, and he doesn’t let himself back out of it, even though Willy’s probably not even home, because he’s finally doing  _ something,  _ at least. He doesn’t know if he’s nervous, per se, but he’s filled with so much energy, and he doesn’t know if it’s from the coffee, or just adrenaline, but he’s restless as he takes the elevator to Willy’s floor, walks very briskly down the hall, and raps firmly on the door before he can second guess himself. 

Willy answers, which – this is Willy’s apartment, and Zach’s here to see Willy, but still, he’d been expecting no answer, or, like, Kappy, or something that would bring him back down to Earth and out of his own head, except it’s not, because it’s Willy. He just stares at Zach, looking like a deer in headlights, and Zach probably looks the same, because he’s in this with absolutely no game plan, just a vague impulse to do something, and he wants to turn around and pretend this never happened, except Zach can’t stop staring at Willy’s eyes. 

“Hi,” he manages to say, somehow. “Can I come in?”

Willy doesn’t say anything, just nods, steps aside so he can walk past him, and then Zach unbuttons his jacket and unwinds his scarf, more so he has something to do with his hands than anything else. 

“Uh,” Willy says, still staring at Zach, like he can’t quite believe he’s here. Honestly, Zach can’t quite believe he’s here, either. “What’s up?”

Zach shrugs. “How was Christmas?” 

“Fine,” Willy says. “How was the movie?” 

“Alright,” Zach says, and then he takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “Actually, no, I have no fucking clue how the movie was.” 

“Oh,” Willy says. “I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s not – like, it’s my fault, because I–” Zach rubs a hand over his face. “I’ve been trying to text you all day, and I was worried about that, and about, just, everything else with us, so I couldn’t pay attention to the fucking movie.” 

“I know I was upset, but it’s okay–” Willy starts, and he’s using his fucking media voice, all rehearsed, and it’s the worst sound Zach’s ever heard.

“No,” Zach says. “No, it’s not okay. And just – I’m a fucking idiot, okay? I am. And I’m sorry, seriously, because you were trying to tell me something, and I just – I don’t know, I panicked, but that wasn’t fair to you.” 

“It wasn’t,” Willy says, a little quiet. “That’s true.” 

“So that’s, uh, the first thing I wanted to say,” Zach says. “I think. I don’t know, I don’t have a list, but that’s important.” 

“I, uh, accept your apology, I guess,” Willy says, and he’s nodding, but still staring at the floor. 

“So, there’s more,” Zach says. 

“Yeah, I figured,” Willy says. “About, uh. The stuff I said last night, right?” 

“Kind of,” Zach says. 

Willy’s eyes shoot up. “Kind of?” Hope flashes across his face, for an instant, almost by accident, and Zach latches onto it, tries to use it to build some courage. 

“It’s about – uh, well, how I’m a fucking idiot,” Zach says. “I guess.” 

“You know what I was trying to say, though,” Willy says. “Last night, I mean.”

Zach nods. “I think so, yeah.” 

“Just checking,” Willy says. “Just – I’m trying not to get my hopes up, here.” 

“I understand that,” Zach says. 

“You do,” Willy says flatly. 

“I mean – I hate getting my hopes up, y’know?” Zach says, staring at his feet. 

“That’s because you’re smart,” Willy says. 

“No,” Zach says, and he closes his eyes. “I told you, I’m a fucking idiot, right? And it’s  _ because  _ I don’t get my hopes up, because I just convince myself that things are impossible, even when they’re not, and I’m just scared.” 

“What’s not impossible?” Willy says, and he’s definitely kind of breathless. 

“I–” Zach starts, and then he stops, because the words get caught in his throat. “Like, that you – and I–” 

“Remember what I said about getting my hopes up? Like, ten seconds ago?” Willy asks, barely sarcastic. 

“I remember,” Zach says. “I know.” 

“You know,” Willy echoes, and he takes a step toward Zach. “So you–” 

“I  _ know,  _ and I – like,” Zach says, and he takes a deep breath. “Okay, so. Last night.” 

“Yeah?” Willy says. 

“A lot of stuff happened,” Zach says. 

“It did,” Willy says. 

“And – and your brownies were really good,” Zach says, and whatever shred of dignity he’d been clinging to disappears.

There’s a beat, and then. “My brownies?”

“God, I don’t fucking–”

“My brownies,” Willy repeats, and Zach can’t look up to check, but he’s pretty sure Willy’s smiling. “Are you telling me you showed up at my place unannounced to tell me you liked my brownies?” 

Zach can’t help but smile. “I could be.” 

“But you’re not,” Willy says, and Zach shakes his head. 

“No, I’m not,” Zach says. “I’m trying to say that I – there are feelings, right? That happen between–”

“If I tell you that I like you, will that make it easier for you to say you like me back?” Willy says. 

“Yeah, a bit,” Zach says, not missing a beat, and then it hits him. “I – Willy.” 

“Zach,” Willy says, and he steps even closer to Zach, puts a hand on Zach’s arm. “Look at me.” 

“This is so weird,” Zach says, not looking up. “I’m not used to being the mess.” 

“I’m an expert, so I’ll guide you through it,” Willy says. 

Zach lifts his head, looks Willy straight on. He’s blushing, and his eyes are blue, and wide, and Zach really wants to kiss him. 

“I like you,” Willy says, his face serious. “A lot.” 

“I like you a lot too,” Zach says, smiling, and then Willy smiles, and they just stand there, in Willy’s foyer, grinning at each other, for a bit, because they like each other, and it’s just – this incredible feeling, like he’s soaring, and Zach wasn’t prepared to feel this fucking happy, but god, he’s pretty sure that nothing can ever match the rush of this. 

“That’s good, then,” Willy says, and his stupidly blue eyes actually twinkle, because he’s Willy. 

“Today was just, like, awful,” Zach says. “Just – so bad.” 

“Same here,” Willy says, almost laughing, but Zach’s not quite there yet, he doesn’t think. 

“I didn’t realize until last night,” Zach says. 

“That I like you?” Willy says. 

“That I like you,” Zach says. “Seriously, I just – and I do, and I probably have for a while, but I didn’t know it.”

“So you really only had to suffer through it for, like, 24 hours,” Willy says. 

“Pretty much,” Zach says. “24 terrible, terrible hours.” 

“Try doing that for a whole year,“ Willy says. 

Zach winces. “I can’t even imagine.” 

Willy shrugs. “There are worse things.” 

“So it was worth it?” Zach asks, and Willy looks at him, his eyes full of an intention that Zach can’t read until Willy’s eyes flicker down to his lips, and before Zach can really do much about it, Willy puts a hand on his neck and pulls him in, slow and sure and confident. 

It’s an amazing kiss. 

Zach’s not sure if that’s an objective opinion or not, but he also doesn’t fucking care, because Willy is kissing him, and his lips are firm, and Zach doesn’t know how many times he’s thought about this, but he’s pretty sure he’s wanted this for a while. Zach’s hands wander to Willy’s hips, and he marvels at the way they fit in his hands, and when he leans in to kiss him a little harder, Willy smiles against his mouth. Zach gets to feel all of this, gets to  _ have  _ this, and god, it’s good, it’s so good, and Willy speeds up the kiss for a second before he breaks it away. 

He’s smiling, bright and wide and almost smug, except his mouth is a little red, and he’s kind of breathless, and he’s looking at Zach like he can’t believe he’s this lucky. 

“It was very worth it,” Willy says, and Zach kisses him again, partially to stop himself from saying something dumb and cheesy, but mostly because he wants to. 

* * *

**(Epilogue: Willy)**

“Stop spying,” Willy says, rolling his eyes. 

“I’m not spying,” Zach says. 

“You’re definitely spying,” Willy says. “You’re spying, and you’re lying about spying. You’re a… spying liar? Lying spy? I like lying spy.” 

“Clever,” Zach says, and he doesn’t even look at Willy, just stares through the crack in the curtain at Mitch and Auston on the balcony. 

“Are they making out or something?” Willy asks. “Is this like, a voyeurism thing? Because I could be down, but we should probably–”

“Fuck you,” Zach says, and he finally looks away for long enough to shoot Willy a glare. “They’re not making out, I told Mitchy I’d keep an eye on them.” 

“Because you’re secretly into that? Because that’s probably something you should talk about with me, not Mitch,” Willy says.

“Oh my god, it’s an  _ accountability  _ – oh, okay, we’re good,” Zach says, and he turns away abruptly. 

“What?” Willy asks, smiling. “What do you mean?” 

“Mitch wanted to know that I’d be watching, so he couldn’t chicken out, but he didn’t, so,” Zach says, and he does a gesture with his hand. 

“Wait, so they  _ are  _ making out?” Willy says, pushing past Zach so he can look outside. 

“Yes,” Zach says, stepping in front of him, which, rude.

“Move it,” Willy says. “Lemme look.” 

“What the fuck? That’s creepy,” Zach says. 

“You got your turn,” Willy says, and then he leans down to look through the curtain. 

“You’re so weird,” Zach says. 

Willy looks through the curtain to see that Mitch and Auston are, indeed, making out. “Wow, they’re really going for it.”

“You were calling me a voyeur, like, eight seconds ago,” Zach says. 

“Never said I wasn’t into it,” Willy says, but he does look away, because Auston’s hand is going under Mitch’s shirt, and that’s just indecent, and probably, like, cold. 

“Is this a conversation we need to have?” Zach asks, only a little serious, probably.

Willy shakes his head, smiling. “Nah. Not about those two, at least.” 

“Ouch,” Zach says, smiling easy as ever, but he’s cautious as he puts an arm over Willy’s shoulders, like he still can’t quite believe that he can do that. 

It’s fair enough, because Willy also can’t believe that Zach can just do that, but he smiles, a bit delighted with everything right now, and clasps their hands together to pull Zach even closer. It’s not even comfortable, really, except for how Willy likes being tangled up in him. 

“You’re cute,” Willy says, because he might as well. 

“Stop it,” Zach says, blushing, and Willy smiles wider. 

“No,” Willy says. “I waited a long time to be able to tell you that you’re cute.” 

“You didn’t have to wait ‘til we were dating to call me cute,” Zach says.

“I kind of did,” Willy says. “I mean, to your face.” 

“How do you manage to make that sound cocky?” Zach asks, smiling, and he’s still blushing, and Willy’s heart still fucking flutters at the way Zach manages to be so – just,  _ Zach.  _

“I am cocky,” Willy says, simply. 

“No shit,” Zach says, rolling his eyes, and it sets Willy up perfectly. 

“I have the hottest boyfriend here, I think I’m allowed to be cocky,” Willy says, and he watches Zach’s reaction closely. 

The thing is, he can see the moment where Zach is flustered, the way he almost sputters, and it’s the moment where Willy would usually just start laughing, but Zach purses his lips for a split second, and then. smooth as anything, says, “I’m pretty sure I have the hottest boyfriend here.” 

And that’s the thing, really. Willy can’t lose, because if he outdoes Zach, he gets to see Zach caught off-guard, red-faced and adorable, but if Zach outdoes him, he gets to hear Zach say shit like  _ that.  _

“Smooth,” Willy says. “So fucking smooth.” 

“I have my moments,” Zach says, shrugging. 

“You have all your moments,” Willy says decisively, done with banter for now, because he has the attention span of a goldfish in love. 

“What does that even mean?”

“That you should kiss me.” Willy leans forward a little, and Zach steps into Willy’s space, and he does, and he does it well, because Willy’s pretty sure Zach Hyman has never been bad at anything in his life. 

Zach pulls back, but Willy chases him, mashing their mouths together and kind of laughing, and it’s nowhere near as good as good as Zach, but it’s perfect in its own way, because it gets Zach smiling too. 

“How long ‘til the new year?” Zach asks. 

Willy looks at his watch. “Half an hour? Ish?” 

“The guys will start coming up here soon. We should probably make sure Marns and Matty aren’t, like, defiling the balcony, or whatever,” Zach says. 

“Or crying,” Willy says. “There’s still a chance they didn’t work shit out.” 

“I hope they did,” Zach says, and he sounds like an exhausted parent. “I guess they probably wouldn’t both still be out there, then.” 

“Did you not lock the door?” Willy asks. 

Zach looks at him, like he’s trying to figure out if Willy’s joking or not. “Of course not. You can’t just lock people on balconies.” 

“Why not?” Willy asks. 

“Because it’s rude,” Zach says. “And probably a fire hazard.”

“So practical,” Willy says, kind of sighing, and then he leans over to peek through the crack in the curtain again. He can’t see them, so he chances opening the door. 

“Yo,” he hears Mitch’s voice say, and he looks down to see that they’re sitting on the ground, Auston’s back against the wall with his arms wrapped around Marns, Mitch’s back against Auston’s chest with this happy, almost dreamy look on his face. 

Willy smiles, soft, mostly without meaning to. “Hey, do you still have my camera, Matty?” 

“Yeah,” Auston says, his voice muffled by Mitch’s hair, and Willy would chirp him, usually, except it’s a romantic night, and Willy’s only been dating the boy of his dreams for a week, so all he really feels is jealousy, and this weird longing feeling for Zach, which is the dumbest fucking thing in the world, because Zach is literally five feet away. 

“Where?” Willy asks. 

“It’s over there,” Auston says, pointing to another corner of the porch. “I’ll get up in a sec.” 

“You’re good,” Willy says, giving him a small nod to show that he gets it, and that if he were Auston, the last thing he’d want to do would be to move. 

Willy doesn’t say anything as he grabs the camera, tries to be as quiet as possible, and he doesn’t really need to ask to know that Mitch and Auston are just sitting there, kind of basking in it all, and Willy knows that they won’t want to stop for a while. Willy still doesn’t want to stop, and it’s been days, at this point, but there’s something so great about how safe it feels, like all the time leading up to it was a free fall, and finally being together feels like a chance to catch your breath, look around, see the world clearly, again. 

He shuts the door quietly, smiling to himself, a little, and when he hears Zach say, “So, how’re they doing?” it’s the best sound on Earth, because it’s Zach. 

“They’re very cute,” Willy says, still smiling. 

He grabs Zach and kisses him again, this impulsive thing that neither of them is quite used to yet, because even though it feels like they’ve done nothing but kiss for the past week, everything’s still so new. It’s nice like this, though, a kind of reminder. Willy loves laughing with Zach, loves their weird bouts of banter that always manage to throw Willy for a little bit of a loop, loves the times when he’s so happy he can barely handle it, because it’s been so much for so long, but still, it’s nice to know that underneath all that, there’s still something, and it’s this. It’s simple, and sweet, and the slightest bit breathless, but it’s still powerful, the same way a sunny day is, this easy, bright thing that makes it all better. 

Willy pulls away, feels a strand of hair fall in his face that he doesn’t bother to push back. “But we’re cuter.” 

Zach looks at him for a second, this easy, lopsided smile on his face. “I’m pretty sure I love you.” 

Nothing about the moment is big, except for the grin that splits across Willy’s face. “Only pretty sure?” he says. 

“Give it a bit,” Zach says, his smile not faltering at all, and Willy knows that Zach knows that Willy won’t rush him on this. 

“I’ll try to be patient,” Willy says, a little too giddy to make it into a bit. “If it helps, I definitely love you.” It feels like a little more to say than Willy had expected it to, but it’s true, and it has been for a while. It was true a few months into their first season on the Marlies, and it was true when Willy boarded the ferris wheel and nothing in his heart hurt, and it was true when he got off of it and everything did, and it’s been true every time Zach’s done something to make Willy smile. 

“That definitely helps,” Zach says. 

Willy stares at Zach for a second, then takes a step back, fumbling with the camera. “Don’t move,” he says. “Your face, just–“ He backs up, and Zach doesn’t move his face, per se, but something in his eyes changes, more fond and exasperated, and by the time Willy snaps the photo, the smile on Zach’s face isn’t quite the same as the one he’d wanted to photograph. 

It’s still fucking awesome, though, so Willy lets it develop, then slides it into his wallet for safekeeping. 

“Let’s get one of the both of us,” Zach says.

“Are you suggesting we take a  _ selfie?” _ Willy says, delighted. 

“I don’t hate selfies,” Zach says. “You just take them in the car, for some reason.” 

“I told you, it’s because your arms look good when you drive, and I want to be photographed with that,” Willy says. 

“Whatever,” Zach says, and leans in close to Willy for a selfie, centering themselves in the small mirror attachment on the lens, smiles wide, but right before Willy takes the picture, Zach presses a kiss to his cheek. 

The photo is a little blurry, but otherwise, it’s pretty much perfect.

* * *

Later, when they’re all crowded on the balcony, watching the fireworks and still cheering in the first seconds of the new year, Zach leans forward and whispers, “I love you too,” right in Willy’s ear.

Willy just laughs for a second, then leans against Zach, shaking his head and grinning as he turns his head to face him. “I could’ve held out longer, you know.” 

“I don’t think I could’ve,” Zach says. 

“How are you so good at that?” Willy asks, tilting his head backwards until it’s resting on Zach’s shoulder, so he says it more to the sky than anything else. 

“At what?” Zach asks, amused. 

“I don’t even know,” Willy says, content, and he closes his eyes. “All of it, I guess.” 

He tilts his head, and Zach kisses him, short and easy. 

“Happy New Year,” he says. 

“Yeah,” Willy says. “The happiest.”


	2. podfic

 

**[download link](http://www.mediafire.com/file/7vnazsg3sgj824j/%5Bhockey%20rpf%5D%20throw%20me%20on%20the%20first%20line.mp3) **

**Size** 129MB

 **Length** 2:21:02

 

ft. "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey, "Last Christmas" by Carly Rae Jepsen, and "Santa Tell Me" by Ariana Grande. Enjoy! 

**Author's Note:**

> As always, let me know if there are things you think should be tagged/warned for!
> 
> **bonus content:**
> 
> -fun fact i actually hate christmas.
> 
> -zach and willy celebrate their anniversary on december 18th, because christmas is a bad day for an anniversary. willy is mildly unhappy, because you shouldn’t be able to arbitrarily change the date of things like anniversaries, and says something like, “what if you just celebrated your birthday on a different day?” zach points out that christmas is, in fact, celebrating jesus’s birthday on the wrong day, and willy shrugs, says, “fair enough,” and stops arguing it.
> 
> -in case you’re unfamiliar with the works of mo willems, the greatest author of our generation, the book zach reads willy’s younger cousin is “Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!”
> 
> -everything leading up to the epilogue was a hairbrained modern take on a shakespearean comedy where everyone's scrambling to get mitch and auston together
> 
> -i want to believe that after willy wrapped this gift once, he immediately realized that zach wasn't a paper-ripper, so he went and redid it using minimal tape. i hate this fucking nerd.
> 
> -i’m told that the urban outfitters polaroid camera that zach gets willy is called an instax mini. he gets it in leafs blue. mitch is the one who gets willy the selfie attachment.  
> 
> -zach: *kisses willy*  
> willy: ...  
> willy, in a voicemail for auston matthews, minutes later: why does he _do_ this to me, i don't get it, did he want to kiss me? is there any chance he wants to kiss me? he's such a good boyfriend, and i know this, and i'm not even dating him and i just. i don't know why he has to be such a good boyfriend y'know?
> 
> -willy: *gets a text from zach that just says 'the brownies' and nothing else*  
> willy: ...  
> willy, in a voicemail for auston matthews, minutes later: what does this mean. why is he doing this to me. i don't understand. is this supposed to be clever? is this banter? he's so smart. or maybe stupid. this doesn't make any SENSE. 
> 
> -auston barely listens to most of willy's voicemails past the first few seconds because they're hard to hear and willy doesn't really expect him to, but willy leaves like four of them in one night (auston's voicemail box does fill up, but that's because he hasn't emptied it in a while.) the thing that really gets auston, though, is the last one, where it's just willy, kinda crying, all quiet, and he just says, "fuck, matty, he really – he just doesn't like me like that." and auston respects that zach has every right to not want to date willy, but in auston's mind, there's no way zach feels _nothing._ and that's why he goes and yells at zach.
> 
> -(also not that auston screens all of willy's calls while sad-scrolling through mitch's instagram but auston does, in fact, screen all of willy's calls while sad-scrolling through mitch's instagram.) 
> 
> -auston has a lot of things he needs to address in his own life but he addresses them in willy's instead.
> 
> -OKAY HAPPY THINGS: so we know willy's favorite hobby is making zach laugh, and his second favorite is making zach blush. his favorite joke is saying "we should try this in bed" about various things (like, certain stretches during practice or whatever) and it almost never works because zach is too good. at one point willy's trying to tickle him while they're playing cod (zach's probably ranting about how lame auston's sniping method is like always, and willy thinks it's cute and wants to be annoying) and zach says "stop that or i will literally tie you down" and willy goes "we should try that in bed" and not missing a beat, zach says, "i could be into that" and willy makes this just, incredibly high pitched noise. like he deadass _squeaks_ and turns bright red and zach is like, very amused, and ends up not dying in the game. it's a very successful moment for him. 
> 
> -this is a great and underappreciated pairing! watch the [leafs christmas market video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBp4f758e14) with this pairing in mind and your world will be changed ("[why not? you don't wanna rock?](http://phillymyers.tumblr.com/post/154883901523/willy-likes-rockin-the-boat)" william.) also that one time zach apparently [did this](https://78.media.tumblr.com/b107e3db4c2ee904f318165fab0aaecb/tumblr_owcm2qT26d1w5hrp4o1_1280.png). also the fact that willy is one of 40 likes on a 2012 instagram post of [zach hyman with bleach blonde hair](https://www.instagram.com/p/SW_AuIxUEF/?taken-by=zachhyman).
> 
> [Come talk to me on tumblr,](https://lottswrites.tumblr.com/) or follow me on twitter @lottslottslotts


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